It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...‏

Greetings Hammers!

I strode to work this morning with a raincoat on my back and an umbrella in my hand, based on CBC Radio's (baseless) prediction of rain & thunderstorms for the afternoon. As the noon-time cannon roared over Halifax's downtown, I began to believe. "Tim," I said to myself, "I believe you shall achieve stardom tonight on the field of battle." Sara's celebratory e-mail regarding HRM's decision to allow play confirmed it: tonight was ripe for victory.

The good news: the Bag o' Hammers posted their most respectable score of the season, reaching double-digits before succumbing to a more energetic opponent.

The bad news: our opponents were high schoolers. Except for the two svengalis on their team. Oh, and that 13-year old isn't in high school either, I'm pretty sure.

The mighty Hammers had momentum on more than one occasion, but we fell a point or two shy of achieving greatness. It didn't help that our opponents' parents enforced a strict end-of-game-time due to bedtimes, curfews and the like.

Lest I delve too deeply on the negative, however, let me emphasize these three points: the sun shone during the entirety of the game on an otherwise foggy day, we scored more points than we posted in our first two games combined, and we celebrated the return to action of Ivan Rapchuk, the prodigal son of the Halifax ultimate scene. And without further ado, tonight's three stars:

1. Ivan "I haven't played in two years and I'm bringing my two young sons to the game to underline that point" Rapchuk.

Ivan bemoaned his rust throughout the game, but a quick gander at the (fictional) scoresheet shows that he was directly involved in 90 percent-plus of our points, if not every single one. A voice of reason on an otherwise chaotic field ("WHO are you talking about?!?" I can hear Chantelle asking aloud), Ivan was a man among boys tonight. Well, I guess literally speaking, all of our males were, given the pubescence of our opponents, but you know what I mean. Ivan, it was great to have you back, here's hoping for a regular turnout this season.

2. Wendy "if that redhead doesn't shut the f*ck up I'm going to stomp on her face" Schulte

As usual, Wendy provided her stellar display of athleticism on both ends of the field. Sharp cuts, tight defence... it's what we've all come to expect in our quiet friend. But Wendy's star turn this evening arose from her mark's inadvertant bump of the disc off the frame of Wendy's sunglasses. Wendy, not being a f*cking pansy, decided there was no harm and thusly maintained her stall count. Her opponent, however, reacted as though she'd slashed Wendy's jugular with a dull shiv. Apologies flew forth and far too much hugging ensued (entirely from the demon redhead). As play resumed, said redhead then had the temerity to question Wendy's stall count, which she felt had stopped as soon as the disc glanced of Wendy's shades. Wendy assured her she was all right, and I have no doubt that was the case - but the contemptous tone in her voice and look on her face was enough to make me say "There's someone who I don't want to piss off... ever."

3. Adam "I almost erased all positive memories of the game with my asinine performance at the bar" Lockhart.

Adam, it must be said, played very well tonight on both sides of the disc (though his offensive numbers were inflated by his decision to call off Wendy on an end zone toss headed straight for her hands... a throw he barely caught fully-extended as his poor hamstrings audibly cried for mercy). As we left the field, there was no doubting Adam was a main reason we scored in double-digits for the first time in '08. During the post-game at Freeman's, however, he nearly undid the positives by asking the waitress "Which draughts come in small?" Some would say he is to be commended for his concern about driving post-consumption of alcohol. Others (myself among them) would call him an idiot. The waitress, thankfully, sided with me: "They all do," she calmly replied with smirk on face, "I just pour less of it if you order a small."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I shall attend Bag o' Hammers games as long as I am able. We may not win, but we're always capable of entertainment that exceeds what you'd find elsewhere on a Halifax Thursday night.

Until next week,
Tim

3.