Epic Collapse

The following is dedicated to the memory of the late Estelle Getty.

Picture it, Mississauga, 1991, a young baseball player, having returned to organized baseball after a 12 year hiatus, stood in the on-deck circle. "Bunt", suggested the clipboard toting assistant coach. Having witnessed the young player's strategy of calling his shot to the left-field bleachers and then adopting a batting stance so compressed as to guarantee a walk, the coach decided that measures needed to be taken to put the ball in play for once. The player nodded knowingly, and at that moment, fully intended to comply. He strode to the plate, dug in, and awaited the first pitch.

It is impossible to determine when during that short trip the player lost all recollection of the exchange, but despite at least three good strikes in the mix, narry a bunt attempt was made. Dejected, the player returned to the bench and noticed a confused and almost hurt expression on the coach's face. Later that night during a wakeful moment in bed, he remembered why. Oh yeah - bunt.

It was a theme that would repeat itself on countless occasions thereafter. Uncoachable. I regret that you all witnessed it last night, as I called for the zone, accepted a role in the cup, and then promptly adopted an unusually tight man-to-man coverage on the first opponent to cross my path. Useless.

Anyway, like AA, I blame myself. When their jerk girl started spouting off about some imaginary preceding point that justified granting her teammate a large step forward into the end zone, I recalled a discussion at the captain's meeting about the importance of bringing a quick end to stupid rule debates. Up by several points as we were, it seemed the most reasonable course was to concede the point. Little did I know that was precisely the encouragement they needed to bring their game together, while simultaniously leaving us feeling correspondingly discouraged. Good spirit move, perhaps, but lamentable in retrospect.

I took heart this morning when I saw AA's pictures. At least in stills I look vaguely like I know what I am doing, and I take heart in the fact that we are by great lengths the most attractive team in the league. We shall get them next time.

See you all at the rediculously late game on Thursday. We shall have our vengeance.

XXXo.