As the eerie mists drifted across the harbour, to the faint swirling echoes of Coheed and Cambria, small groups of spandex- and cleat-clad individuals huddled in shivering masses in Halifax's north end. "Game on... really?", they muttered, pelted with rain and wind and wet grass and errant Frisbees from slippery hands, "… really?"
Really.
And so the Hammers steeled themselves for adversity - see: the rain, the wind, the wet grass, the slippery hands... and the hoarse horse-legged Monkey captain and his band of young runners. Let's call them McLovin' & The Monkeys. McLovin' & The Monkeys showed up with one female, successfully took advantage of our lax and sympathetic nature, and negotiated a temporary 5/1 line-up instead of, y'know, a forfeit. Two quick Monkey-points later, and the Hammers were maybe regretting that concession a little bit. But the Hammers - steeled, as I mentioned earlier, and led by Marcie and Tim's ample handling hands and Cruddick's crazy cuts - roared back and handed McLovin' & The Monkeys a trophy loss to hang on their dorm walls, next to their Tarantino posters and recent high school diplomas. It was, I daresay (and did say probably 5 times last night), an immensely satisfying dismemberment of a short-roster team. Yay!
Last night's game was very reminiscent of our match last year against the Dirty Discs (see http://bag-of-hammers.blogspot.com/2010/07/dirty-discs-won-dirt-cheap.html), save for the result. Both were matches against young, brash, athletic opponents; both featured "confrontations" between captains; annnnd both got kind of rough. I, for one, am embarrassed at how frustrated I became over the course of last night's game - having been subject to McLovin's lanky arms and knobbly knees seemingly every point. To both teams - I apologize for my spirit-less retribution foul(s).
Michael's "Becky's Berries" Player of the Game goes to Marcie, for those looong minutes of solid handling, with honourable Michael's Bud Light mentions going to Lynn for her great shoestring catch, and Becky, for providing the Schneider's Juicy Jumbos umbrella to keep our shit dry. And for having a great game.
Until next week, this blog has been brought to you by Michael's, Schneider's and Buuud Light. Shtay thirsty, my friends.
-AA
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Violation!
Well folkz, the Hammers (Bag of) have come back down to earth. After starting the season with an inspired 3-0 run, we have dropped the last two like so many of my panicked pizza cutter flicks. Despite the narrow margins - 2 points and 4 points - this sudden about-face brings to mind the rapid ascent and equally rapid descent of the Toronto Maple Leafs and their Canadian sports media cock tease of a start to the 2010-11 NHL season. Recall that they sat atop the Eastern Conference after a quick and meaningless start before remembering that they were the Toronto Maple Leafs and began acting appropriately (i.e. losing). I am always loathe to draw parallels between my life and that of the Leafs (but quick to jump at every opportunity to mock the Leafs and their aggressively-optimistic-despite-all-logic fans**) so I hope this depressing smugly-satisfying anecdote does not turn out apt. Hammers - may we bounce back like the 2008-09 Penguins.
** Sincere apologies to all Leaf fans on the Hammers. If you'd like some ammunition for retaliation, know that (a) my Habs are equally dysfunctional and over-rated, albeit marginally more successful of late, and (b) I have the bulk of the Coldplay and Counting Crows discographies on my iPod. Use at your own discretion.
Right. The game.
Some days our laid back and unconfrontational (real word?) nature proves to be a detriment (see: here as well). While not solely to blame for our loss last night, it maaaay have been a contributor. For example, witness the first point the Querks tallied, which probably could have been called back on account of a travel (one of many), a pick (maybe?), or an out-of-bounds (as viewed from the sidelines). Now maybe I don't "know the rules" or am a "sore loser" or am "struggling to find an angle", but I suspect that, collectively, we would rather lose with relative dignity than engage in a long-winded and ultimately fruitless argument with some sweaty, mouthy, anal dude in a head-band. Which I am okay with. What am I trying to say here…? Jesus, I don't know. As you were.
But enough whining, let's make with some positives. Last night saw the Hammers employ sound defensive strategy with a zone D into the wind, which might have been our undoing, but was certainly the right idea. We also had more stacks on offense than ever before, and a pretty good run of handling against their zone D (which they totally copied from us). We had a few excellent sequences of short quick passes up the field (Becky -> Aimee -> Marcy -> Dan, I think), and some truly selfless play from both Matt and Derek, who sacrificed both face and several layers of forearm skin to ensure the game remained within reach. The Freeman's Bottled Heineken Player Of the Game, though, goes to Dan for not only being in attendance and providing me with spare cleats after my $30 Canadian Tire jobs disintegrated, but also for the fantastic, inadvertently-dirty pre-huck advice of "go in slow and out fast!"
Huzzah!
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to both Marcy and Maria for repeatedly getting your names mixed up (know that I do in fact know who's who), and also to Disc Array whom I greeted at Freeman's last night as Random Fling. But I blame Michelle and Matt for that one.
Until next week,
AA
PS: also to consider/discuss:
- should we reschedule the July 28th game on account of vacations and Arcade Fire concert attendance?
- July team BBQ/dance party anyone?
- Are Hall & Oats truly deserving of their Number One Pop Artist (1980-83) designation, per Casey Casem?
** Sincere apologies to all Leaf fans on the Hammers. If you'd like some ammunition for retaliation, know that (a) my Habs are equally dysfunctional and over-rated, albeit marginally more successful of late, and (b) I have the bulk of the Coldplay and Counting Crows discographies on my iPod. Use at your own discretion.
Right. The game.
Some days our laid back and unconfrontational (real word?) nature proves to be a detriment (see: here as well). While not solely to blame for our loss last night, it maaaay have been a contributor. For example, witness the first point the Querks tallied, which probably could have been called back on account of a travel (one of many), a pick (maybe?), or an out-of-bounds (as viewed from the sidelines). Now maybe I don't "know the rules" or am a "sore loser" or am "struggling to find an angle", but I suspect that, collectively, we would rather lose with relative dignity than engage in a long-winded and ultimately fruitless argument with some sweaty, mouthy, anal dude in a head-band. Which I am okay with. What am I trying to say here…? Jesus, I don't know. As you were.
But enough whining, let's make with some positives. Last night saw the Hammers employ sound defensive strategy with a zone D into the wind, which might have been our undoing, but was certainly the right idea. We also had more stacks on offense than ever before, and a pretty good run of handling against their zone D (which they totally copied from us). We had a few excellent sequences of short quick passes up the field (Becky -> Aimee -> Marcy -> Dan, I think), and some truly selfless play from both Matt and Derek, who sacrificed both face and several layers of forearm skin to ensure the game remained within reach. The Freeman's Bottled Heineken Player Of the Game, though, goes to Dan for not only being in attendance and providing me with spare cleats after my $30 Canadian Tire jobs disintegrated, but also for the fantastic, inadvertently-dirty pre-huck advice of "go in slow and out fast!"
Huzzah!
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to both Marcy and Maria for repeatedly getting your names mixed up (know that I do in fact know who's who), and also to Disc Array whom I greeted at Freeman's last night as Random Fling. But I blame Michelle and Matt for that one.
Until next week,
AA
PS: also to consider/discuss:
- should we reschedule the July 28th game on account of vacations and Arcade Fire concert attendance?
- July team BBQ/dance party anyone?
- Are Hall & Oats truly deserving of their Number One Pop Artist (1980-83) designation, per Casey Casem?
Monday, July 4, 2011
Belated Wrap Up
"What’s your angle?" Aaron queried immediately after I accepted his challenge to compose the now thoroughly outdated blog posting about the Hammer’s inaugural defeat on Thursday. My answer, though unspoken at the time, remains unchanged over a long weekend of periodic pondering; I don’t know.
The outcome notwithstanding, there was much to like about the contest, which saw our somewhat understaffed squad pitted against our evenly matched, and better staffed rival, Random Fling. By way of observation, I found them to be far less anal and stodgy on the rules whilst playing with the lead, and as a result, more pleasurable to play against. Indeed, it was difficult not to be inspired by the tireless french braid chick, who continued her relentless running despite playing a double header, and her relentless smiling, undaunted by the accumulation of spattered insects on her teeth and gums.
As was true in our first game against this team, they leapt to an early lead. Owing in part to some key (though far from blameworthy) absences on our team, we were somewhat delayed in staging our comeback. The foundation was laid in the half time huddle, when our slender Lombardi brought forth the well-received suggestion of a zone defense. Ignoring the first half score as an irrelevant number associated with a valuable learning experience, the score in the second half, on the strength of a well-executed* zone, was 5-2 in our favour.
Whether it is my call or not, I award player of the game honours to Marcie, whose insights into the proper role of the mid-wing positions helped me to finally find a niche in the zone where I can genuinely contribute after ten years of relative futility. The Quercizans had best be crisp with their swing passes this week my friends, as I have ten years of incompetence for which to atone. That said, given their meager spirit scores, methinks that they are unlikely to approach foul calls with the same reluctance as Random Fling, so I could once again be setting myself up for failure.
I was reminded of my bride’s inquiry after our first game this year, when she asked "Who’s your Ivan?" She wondered who on our team was capable of standing out at any given moment as the best player on the field, capable of going several games without a drop or a failed throw, and of becoming a blur in pursuit of a floating disk on defense. "Me." I offered feebly, though I felt no shame at joining her in laughing at the notion seconds thereafter.
Not to suggest for a moment that we are better off without that kind of player, but frankly, I think we are better off than the historical Hammer squads that have relied on that type of player. Where some teams rely on Ivanesque peaks to overshadow the valleys of far less able players, I see our team as a relatively flat plateau of ability. I think we showed on Thursday that every one of us can throw well, catch well, and play solid defense. There are no holes in this lineup*. In short, I could scarcely be happier with the team that Aaron has assembled.
That said, in the absence of an Ivan, conditions are occasionally ripe for the proverbial arse to fall right out of the proverbial her, as occurred during the final seventeen minutes of Thursday’s game, which saw the two teams cover every inch of the field, struggling against fatigue and sweaty hands to end what I hope will be the longest point of the season, as two spent swimmers who choke their art. Though we were down by a single point, by the end of that marathon, it hardly mattered to any Hammer on the field whether the game ended in a tie or a loss: they just wanted someone to score. One wonders whether either side would have had it in them to play another point had we tied the game. Unfortunately, we will never know.
Post game honours go to Aimee for her stand against the grievous injustice of charging $7.99 for sweet potato fries, to Becky for ordering a white wine and asking the server to "make it a double", to Maria for integrating us into her incredibly busy social calendar, and for generously nachoing our end of the table, to Chris for leaving his musky scent on so many of the aforementioned nachos, to Tim for making cider, a spinach salad, and the announcement "I gotta pee" look so damned masculine, to Matt, for maintaining a staunch defense of his childhood affection for professional wrestling, rivaled only by the savagery of his defense on the field, to Aaron, for the mysterious, quiet brooding that has induced so many of our opponents to refer to him as "the sexy one", and finally, to Lynn, for losing interest in her freshly ordered second beer at precisely the moment at which I found myself in need of one last sip.
Good work all around Hammers. As always, I can’t wait for Thursday.
*It would be appropriate to credit the Hammers with a 5-1 score, and me with an 0-1 defeat in opening the half with what could well be the most abysmal attempt at playing the deep cover position in the storied history of the 3-3-1 zone.
The outcome notwithstanding, there was much to like about the contest, which saw our somewhat understaffed squad pitted against our evenly matched, and better staffed rival, Random Fling. By way of observation, I found them to be far less anal and stodgy on the rules whilst playing with the lead, and as a result, more pleasurable to play against. Indeed, it was difficult not to be inspired by the tireless french braid chick, who continued her relentless running despite playing a double header, and her relentless smiling, undaunted by the accumulation of spattered insects on her teeth and gums.
As was true in our first game against this team, they leapt to an early lead. Owing in part to some key (though far from blameworthy) absences on our team, we were somewhat delayed in staging our comeback. The foundation was laid in the half time huddle, when our slender Lombardi brought forth the well-received suggestion of a zone defense. Ignoring the first half score as an irrelevant number associated with a valuable learning experience, the score in the second half, on the strength of a well-executed* zone, was 5-2 in our favour.
Whether it is my call or not, I award player of the game honours to Marcie, whose insights into the proper role of the mid-wing positions helped me to finally find a niche in the zone where I can genuinely contribute after ten years of relative futility. The Quercizans had best be crisp with their swing passes this week my friends, as I have ten years of incompetence for which to atone. That said, given their meager spirit scores, methinks that they are unlikely to approach foul calls with the same reluctance as Random Fling, so I could once again be setting myself up for failure.
I was reminded of my bride’s inquiry after our first game this year, when she asked "Who’s your Ivan?" She wondered who on our team was capable of standing out at any given moment as the best player on the field, capable of going several games without a drop or a failed throw, and of becoming a blur in pursuit of a floating disk on defense. "Me." I offered feebly, though I felt no shame at joining her in laughing at the notion seconds thereafter.
Not to suggest for a moment that we are better off without that kind of player, but frankly, I think we are better off than the historical Hammer squads that have relied on that type of player. Where some teams rely on Ivanesque peaks to overshadow the valleys of far less able players, I see our team as a relatively flat plateau of ability. I think we showed on Thursday that every one of us can throw well, catch well, and play solid defense. There are no holes in this lineup*. In short, I could scarcely be happier with the team that Aaron has assembled.
That said, in the absence of an Ivan, conditions are occasionally ripe for the proverbial arse to fall right out of the proverbial her, as occurred during the final seventeen minutes of Thursday’s game, which saw the two teams cover every inch of the field, struggling against fatigue and sweaty hands to end what I hope will be the longest point of the season, as two spent swimmers who choke their art. Though we were down by a single point, by the end of that marathon, it hardly mattered to any Hammer on the field whether the game ended in a tie or a loss: they just wanted someone to score. One wonders whether either side would have had it in them to play another point had we tied the game. Unfortunately, we will never know.
Post game honours go to Aimee for her stand against the grievous injustice of charging $7.99 for sweet potato fries, to Becky for ordering a white wine and asking the server to "make it a double", to Maria for integrating us into her incredibly busy social calendar, and for generously nachoing our end of the table, to Chris for leaving his musky scent on so many of the aforementioned nachos, to Tim for making cider, a spinach salad, and the announcement "I gotta pee" look so damned masculine, to Matt, for maintaining a staunch defense of his childhood affection for professional wrestling, rivaled only by the savagery of his defense on the field, to Aaron, for the mysterious, quiet brooding that has induced so many of our opponents to refer to him as "the sexy one", and finally, to Lynn, for losing interest in her freshly ordered second beer at precisely the moment at which I found myself in need of one last sip.
Good work all around Hammers. As always, I can’t wait for Thursday.
*It would be appropriate to credit the Hammers with a 5-1 score, and me with an 0-1 defeat in opening the half with what could well be the most abysmal attempt at playing the deep cover position in the storied history of the 3-3-1 zone.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Well that was TOTALLY a travel but whatever...
Tonight the discs were certainly array but soft hands and quick feet led BoH to a kick ass victory over the most passive aggressive team we have played to date. Do people not understand that we aren't to be messed with? That knees to the shins and knees to the balls could not keep us down so half ass pansy calls certainly were not going to knock us off our game. Even with the praying mantiss all up in the boys' bizness.
Big ups to Becky Davison who surely gets Player of the Game for making great catches but most importantly for playing THE ENTIRE GAME. And folks that is impressive stuff because dem ladies could run. Even Booby McBooberson who you think would have gravity issues (I can say shit like that cuz I am a chick). But really, high-fives all around because we were only a team of 8 with a tag in performance late in the second half by Jacqueline (ps. I owe you huge Jacq cuz had you not subbed in I may have actually thrown up).
With victory ours, a smaller than normal crew braved the mean streets of downtown Dartmouth where Tim drank wine in a muscle shirt and the ladies chowed down on victory burgers and fries. All in all everyone assumed we were locals. Although it did get a bit tense when AA announced to the crowd that would not be in attendance at the upcoming Concert on the Hill because the last time he saw Metallica play "it really hurt (his) chest."
Keep up the good work kids. I love me a winning team.
Big ups to Becky Davison who surely gets Player of the Game for making great catches but most importantly for playing THE ENTIRE GAME. And folks that is impressive stuff because dem ladies could run. Even Booby McBooberson who you think would have gravity issues (I can say shit like that cuz I am a chick). But really, high-fives all around because we were only a team of 8 with a tag in performance late in the second half by Jacqueline (ps. I owe you huge Jacq cuz had you not subbed in I may have actually thrown up).
With victory ours, a smaller than normal crew braved the mean streets of downtown Dartmouth where Tim drank wine in a muscle shirt and the ladies chowed down on victory burgers and fries. All in all everyone assumed we were locals. Although it did get a bit tense when AA announced to the crowd that would not be in attendance at the upcoming Concert on the Hill because the last time he saw Metallica play "it really hurt (his) chest."
Keep up the good work kids. I love me a winning team.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Zing!
In my mind, the obvious TSN headline for last night's stunning, come-from-behind (tee-hee) Hammers' victory is "Hammers 2 Legit 2 Quit". Yes, it is as if MC Hammer's entire career was a Nostradamus-like prophecy foreseeing our greatest victories - such as last night.
Playing on a field so Soft And Wet that it threatened many an ankle and kneecap, the Hammers faced an early deficit after a soggy start. But soon after, the Hammers collective confidence was popping like so much KFC Popcorn Chicken, raining points on a dejected Random Fling - whose lack of female subs likely put them at a disadvantage as the game wore on. No matter, no mercy - This Is The Way We Roll. I suppose that's not entirely true, after all, the repeated fouling of Dan and his subsequent composure demonstrated plenty of mercy. Calm on the outside, likely raging on the inside, Dan's internal monologue could be heard screaming, you guessed it, Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em (boo).
Last night also saw the return of Aimee - Have You Seen Her? Player of the game, she cut, caught and counted like she had never left. Consider also the strong D from Michelle and some solid play from new Hammer Jason (and all y'all in general) - how could we lose?
Good work team!
PS: I am pretty disappointed I could not find a creative way to work a reference to Pumps And A Bump into the above. Sigh.
Playing on a field so Soft And Wet that it threatened many an ankle and kneecap, the Hammers faced an early deficit after a soggy start. But soon after, the Hammers collective confidence was popping like so much KFC Popcorn Chicken, raining points on a dejected Random Fling - whose lack of female subs likely put them at a disadvantage as the game wore on. No matter, no mercy - This Is The Way We Roll. I suppose that's not entirely true, after all, the repeated fouling of Dan and his subsequent composure demonstrated plenty of mercy. Calm on the outside, likely raging on the inside, Dan's internal monologue could be heard screaming, you guessed it, Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em (boo).
Last night also saw the return of Aimee - Have You Seen Her? Player of the game, she cut, caught and counted like she had never left. Consider also the strong D from Michelle and some solid play from new Hammer Jason (and all y'all in general) - how could we lose?
Good work team!
PS: I am pretty disappointed I could not find a creative way to work a reference to Pumps And A Bump into the above. Sigh.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Bag Of Hammers: A Convoluted History
Okay, this is gonna look bad. I have two kids, a full time job, an ant-infested house and a cat that would rather piss on the dining room floor than use a litter that hasn't been cleaned in 12 hours... what I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't have time to plot the lineage of the Bag Of Hammers, in Excel, back to 2006 using old email lists. But that is what I did. Because I care. And also because I'm lame.
Behold (click to enlarge):
So, yeah. Let me know if anything looks off (i.e. if you were not recruited by whom I thought you were). FYI, "XXX" is the name of the Ultimate team circa-2000ish that eventually spawned the Hammers you now know and love (assumption) - think of XXX as the caterpillar to our butterfly, the Thrashers to our Jets, the "Mork & Mindy" to our "Happy Days".
(/Lame)
PS: there are some great names in there... Van Zutphen. Sawatzky. Knopp. Gallop. MacDonald. etc.
Behold (click to enlarge):
So, yeah. Let me know if anything looks off (i.e. if you were not recruited by whom I thought you were). FYI, "XXX" is the name of the Ultimate team circa-2000ish that eventually spawned the Hammers you now know and love (assumption) - think of XXX as the caterpillar to our butterfly, the Thrashers to our Jets, the "Mork & Mindy" to our "Happy Days".(/Lame)
PS: there are some great names in there... Van Zutphen. Sawatzky. Knopp. Gallop. MacDonald. etc.
One game down, one game won
Not a hefty challenge last night but nice to start with a win. Let's string together a couple more so we get elevated to the top tier before getting slammed back to reality against the teams stacked with traveling players.
Great to see everyone again and it did my heart good to see such a turnout for drinks afterward. The social aspect of the team once again trumps the on-the-field stuff for me.
That said, the decimation of Key Lime Pi underlined a key point - the new Hammers will be huge in our 2011 success. Having Marcie for the full year is awesome and Maria and Jason immediately proved to be valuable additions for both moving the disc and socializing post-game. Awesome stuff.
Mike's Hard Lemonade Player of the Game goes to Michelle, who provided the girls with a sub when she raced to the field from her meeting, ran hard and (perhaps most importantly) attended Sunday's dreadful captains' meeting. We're eternally in your debt.
Next game - Thursday June 9 at 9:30pm at Wanderer's Ground under the lights!
Peace.
Great to see everyone again and it did my heart good to see such a turnout for drinks afterward. The social aspect of the team once again trumps the on-the-field stuff for me.
That said, the decimation of Key Lime Pi underlined a key point - the new Hammers will be huge in our 2011 success. Having Marcie for the full year is awesome and Maria and Jason immediately proved to be valuable additions for both moving the disc and socializing post-game. Awesome stuff.
Mike's Hard Lemonade Player of the Game goes to Michelle, who provided the girls with a sub when she raced to the field from her meeting, ran hard and (perhaps most importantly) attended Sunday's dreadful captains' meeting. We're eternally in your debt.
Next game - Thursday June 9 at 9:30pm at Wanderer's Ground under the lights!
Peace.
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