Yabba-Dabba… D’oh!

Through the first two rounds of the 2013-14 NHL playoffs, the New York Rangers had a laughably terrible power play. By Game 4 against the Penguins, they would be just 3-for-42, for a conversion rate of 7.1%. It got to the point where the commentators would routinely make jokes suggesting that NY decline penalty calls. Seeing as I give zero shits about the New York Rangers (and even less so after they accidentally-on-purpose injured Carey Price… RAGE), the whole situation was kinda funny to me – but NO MORE! Folks, we are those New York Rangers – so inept with the man advantage. So, so inept. 

To back-up for a moment, for the many who weren’t there: our competitors last night – the black-clad, in-fighting, Draft team – were only able to field two female players, and were thus given the option of forfeiting or playing with six peoples. Or we were given the option of making them forfeit, or something. I don’t remember. The end result was that they played the entire game with only two females, and six total, on the field. In retrospect, mayhaps we should  have played six aside, as well. 

Now, this is not to say that we would have won (PS: we lost) had they been able to field seven or if we had played six, as they fielded a number of crazy-fast, muscular, antelope-legged, tattooed, possible ex-members of CrazyTown and BioHazard (the best descriptor Sharky and I could come up with was “hipster meth-head hockey players”). They were quick, and advanced the disk real efficient-like. And their captain, a six-foot-plus dead-ringer for Fred Flintstone (says Sally, and we all agreed), was a six-foot-plus dead-ringer for Fred Flintstone. He was good at being tall.

This is also not to say that we did not play well, or that we didn’t attempt to exploit their lax coverage (they didn’t even zone us, which would’ve made lotsa sense) – we did an excellent job of identifying the open player and feeding them the disk (yum). And temporary recruit James (aka “AB”, for Allie’s Boyfriend, because the last thing we need is another J-name!), was also quite effective at being tall and fast. And Jeeves’ hair was MAGNIFICENT – it was responsible for at least two of our seven points. 

All this speculative logic is hurting my head! Ultimate-ly (heh), we played well, but lost, basically because of one guy. And the field reeked like shit, or cat food, or Pictou (depending on who you asked). And it was fun, regardless, except for the smells, which were not fun. And Glutes scored with his face. And Chippy launched the disk into Glutes’ face from 6 feet away. And it was marvelous. 

The Ship Victory UGHHH I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING Curry Mayo Player of the Game is Punter, for her ability to evade her zero defenders and give us repeated easy passes up the field. That sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. Bonus points also to her and Captain for telling me in no uncertain terms to STFU at the pre-huck lineup when I tried to devise a defensive plan that was counter to their own. Which also sounds sarcastic, but it’s not, because frankly I don’t know what the hell I’m doing… :) 

Not sure where next week’s game is, but I hope to see you there. Note that we only have two games left before playoffs, which, sadly, it seems we’ll have to bow out of. *womp* 

Have a good weekend, all! 

-AA