Playoff Roundup

Hello Hammers,

I would classify our performance at the playoffs as sassy and damp, with liberal sprinklings of foolishness. Game one saw us pitted against Crucial Taunt, who handed us our collective asses for the second time in less than a month. Both teams were hindered by the beginnings of the downpour that would follow, and it was a fairly even contest throughout, except when it came to scoring, which they did 10 times and we did once. Our lone tally came just after the horn signalling the impending end of the game, and was celebrated with a degree of enthusiasm generally associated with far greater achievements. AA quietly observed that our opponent may have let up ever so slightly, but we chose to ignore his treasonous lies.

From there we stormed promptly into the consolation round against the formerly inept Screaming Vikings, who proved to be Slippery When Wet, not unlike the great Bon Jovi, whose musical stylings some of the team would attempt later in the evening in front of an X-Box at Jason's stag. The rain soaked field, slick frisbee, and early onset of fatigue complicated things considerably, but in the end we managed to squeak out a victory by a two point margin, which the other captain (Ruley McRulebook) and I agreed to round up to 9-7 in hopes of saving face. I attribute much of our success to the portion of the game in which I walked my son around the field to test my damaged ankle, leaving my team without my defensive ineptitude and sudden inability to throw forehand. AA in inspired us all by running at his normal speed despite having to hold his hips in place with both hands and catch with his teeth. Our female players, as is generally the case, carried the team to victory.

After cramming ourselves in Adam's van for a half hour, we took the field for our final match against Heavy Rotation, who conceded to wear whites in light of our controversial concession earlier in the season. We put on a defensive clinic in that game. On more than one occasion they went 10 minutes without crossing half. The problem was that the slippery disc, coupled with our increasing fatigue, growing ineptitude and indifference, rendered us largely unable to score from short range, and entirely too eager to hurl ill-fated hammers from long range, turning the contest into a laughable example of how not to win. That said, despite the general perception post-game that my suggestion to forfiet the final contest in favour of an early trip to the bar was a good one, I think we all enjoyed the final game. We made it clear that we are just as happy to score three points in spectacular fashion on largely broken plays as we are to score fifteen with prudence and careful design, which is effectively the statement we have been making all year.

All things considered, a good show, and a good season Hammers. Based on our discussions post-game, I expect a good showing for Timmy's on Thursday. When should people arrive Tim?