Goodnight You Princes of Sprytown, You Kings of Graves-Oakley

Well, Hammers, a 15-3 victory isn’t something we experience every week. Or even every season. Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time we reached 15. But last night was one such magical occasion – buoyed by the beautiful weather, cross-field winds, a no-brainer defense (that we stuck to quite well!), and a well-natured group of newb opponents. Oh, and an admirable decision to not let up AT ALL. Perhaps it was the week of internalized residual Dodgeball mindgame frustration. Maybe it was the inspiration provided by my bright orange-pineapple shorts. Or maybe it was the infectious energy provided by a sprinting, diving, scoring Chippy. Maybe all three?

Regardless, Hammers Forever-President-In-Sprit D-Land would be so very proud.

There are too many highlights to recall here, but here are a few: Chippy’s aforementioned (enthusiastic yet unsuccessful) layout; Bender’s huge defensive shift, featuring double (triple?) rejections; Punter/Wheeler’s point, caught between her pinky fingers; Honey and Bunny (STILL MAKES ME LAUGH) and their relentless cutting, and always being open… I know I missed a whack of highlights – y’all were too awesome. Jeez, did everyone score? I think everyone scored. It was a large night, friends. I’m still kind of aroused smiling.

The Armview 90s R&B Playlist & Heaping Guacamole Nachos Player of the Game is a collective everyone who showed up. Hugs to all of you. Seeeee you next week.
-AA

PS: Cruddick, you should prolly check yourself for ticks.

PPS:

Mambo Number 5 (or, Douche Bag Number 5!)

There were hipsters, incredibility bad traffic, food trucks, fouls, skateboards, picks, terrible calls, intense morons, bloody lips, really tall bicycles, a very cute 3 weeks old baby!! and a lot of angry hammers in the downtown area last evening.

I probably shouldn’t be writing this blog while still all fired up. But what a stupid game that was! Not much fun at all. I almost walked off the field a few times in frustration and anger. Could of been because i haven't eaten, but i think Mambo number 5 also had a lot to do with it. The whole dodgeball team just loved yelling foul and pick for no reason at all. That call on Bunny was hilarious. He was convinced Bunny shoved him from behind. Greg, did you catch that play on camera?? Would love to see the replay.

 Towards the end of the game after another crazy foul call i actually yelled out "Are you for real?” Can I really give this douche bag team 0 spirit points? Because I want to.

As terrible as that game was we did have a few laughs. I mean, come on Airbender (or AKA Fancy) was out there playing in his deck shoes. He thought he could pick up some speed his is fancy Sebago's. Michelle and Zoe came out to watch the game, which was nice, Chippy and Landshark were doing some great quick passes back and forth to each other yelling out “Sorry” now and then, every time Thumber would throw the disc the other team would announce “watch those wonky throws”, Leapfrog was doing his moves in our end zone getting most of our points, Sally was keeping the team positive and playing it cool as the handler and Sneak arrived to the game a bit late with his family in tow as he flew all over the field causing the team to screamed out “foul” as Sneak played awesome defense in my option!

The part that upset me the most was that Alex (Captain of the other team) didn't give me the spirit beer this game :) Maybe it was because I was out there being an asshole trying to fit in with their team while Honey was playing like she owned this game and caught their eye! I have to admit though they were bang on picking the player of the game! Honey was catching some tough throws all over the field! Meanwhile i was smacking down the disc right into Bunny's face causing a bit of facial damage :s yikes!! Hope you didn't need stitches Sandy!!

 See you guys next week in Sprytown!
-Captain Becky

WE'RE BACK (GUESS WHO'S BACK)

Guys, we won. Guys. We did it. There was wind. There was a little bit of rain. There were sharks and soccer balls and snot rockets and skin-eating turf and general confusion over where we had to play. And there were straaaaiined Frisbee puns. But we triumphed over all such adversity and rode home to victory on the backs of so many dominated ex-Tuna*. Speaking of strained.

Given our familiarity with half of their team, last night felt more like a chill soccer friendly, and so it was a great game through which to ease into the season. We were able to work on some fundamentals (stacking, zone), and slowly refamiliarize ourselves with the mechanics of running and catching things after so many weeks of sedentary hockey playoff binging and beer drinking. I am mainly talking about myself here. Also, it makes a UUUGE difference having Gregor/Bender back to give us that extra punch at handler. *air punch*

But make no mistake, Hammers, we (I) were (was) not quite at mid-season form. Specifically, we all seemed to forget the cardinal rule of Do Not Let AA Throw The Disc. And we all kept forgetting all game. Fortunately, Armsy scored a bazillion points, which gave us plenty of room to freestyle wind-blown pizza cutters into the adjacent field. Thus, Armsy is your Breton Brewing Red Coat Ale Player Of The Game – whee! In her acceptance speech, I hope she clarifies what the “genital rules” of Ultimate are (LOLOLOLOL), and how they may relate to that dude taking a pizza cutter direct to the balls without even flinching.

Individual play of the game was CLEARLY Biggie/Bidginity/Angela’s diving circus catch to score. I suspect this will become a thing. And I’m pretty psyched about it.

In short – good game everybody. I missed you all, and am happy to meet the new guys . NEXT WEEK WE GO FOR BEERZ.
-AA

*FYI: Team was called Tuna last year.

You’re The Hammer Bags?

Holy mother of god it was cold out last night! Our bodies were cold, the wind was a bitch and we could barely feel our fingers most of the game. Good to be back on the field though ;) Maybe the freezing cold weather can explain why our pre-game and post-game cheers were terrrrrrible! I guess it was me that was supposed to be me yelling the “Hip Hip” part between the “hoorays”. However, the halftime talk was extremely helpful! The old torn up hand towel that was probably on the field since last season came in handy when explaining the game plan for the second half (see photo below).

The “hammer bags” came out a bit rusty for the first game of the season but I have to say we weren’t all that bad. With two new hammer bags joining the team this season I think we are going to be looking good! Scott put us on the board early with capturing our first point of the season and Angela, well Angela had an AMAZING dive in the end zone bring our score to 4. This totally earned her Player of the Game!!!

We had a few complaints from the other team. Tony the tiger complained about our team height (I think it was directed at Armsy though), the loud stall counts coming from Fish and Chips/ Tarter Sause and the body checking coming from Bunny. I didn’t notice a thing. I did hear though, someone yell “That game was so exciting I’m going to crap my pants” oh wait, maybe that comment came from Charles and or James? I could easier make more comments on this game but I will leave it to the team to add in what you remember.

Here are some new and revised nicknames!

Angela –Bidginity -Similar to the word “virginity,” bidginity relates to the first time someone bids. Bidding is a mindset everybody has to overcome. Running full speed and bellyflopping the ground for the first time can be intimidating. It may be uncomfortable at first, and there might even be a little blood. But once it’s all over you’ll realize it wasn’t so bad and that you kind of want to do it again. Everyone will praise you for finally losing your bidginity and you’ll want to tell everyone the exact details of the moment. Most people lose it in college or even high school, and there’s always that one kid that lost it in middle school. Don’t be that person that goes through life never losing their bidginity. There is nothing that will bring you closer to the sport you love, so don’t be afraid to get down and dirty.

Scott- Leapfrog- One of the most epic things to ever happen in Ultimate Frisbee. It is the act of jumping so high to grab a disc that you literally jump over someone in the process.

Gregor- Airbender- An Airbender is an exceptionally good Handler capable of manipulating the frisbee in ways never thought possible. They seem to complete every single pass with incredible accuracy and execution, no matter the situation. They are also a master of every single throw and typically know the game very well. “Airbender” is among one of the most prestigious nicknames to be called in Ultimate. There used to be countless Ultimate Frisbee Airbenders in existence but that all changed when the fire- nation attacked.

Jay- Thumber- Just because of the way he hucks it down the field.

Greg- Sneak – An unexpected running play

Colleen- Wheeler (Wheel of Death) - This throw is extremely rare, most don’t have the balls to do it in a real game. It is a combination of throwing with the thumb and the hammer. Colleen has been practicing her hammer throw and this nickname screams “toughness”

Chris- Landshark -We all know that player that bids and lays out for every disc, sometimes way more than they need to. If you know someone whose belly touches the ground more than their feet, they are most definitely a landshark.

- Becky/Captain