Fin?

Welp – that’s a wrap on the season, y’all. Despite our best efforts at getting younger and healthier and millennial-er through recruitment (Hi Froggy, Biggie and Armsy), this season really exposed the Hammers’ collective age and fragility and bone density and muscle resilience and immune system and professional/parental responsibility issues (Hi everybody else). Thus, we limped to the finish line, grumbling about phantom foul calls and dumb rules and lack of respect and flavoured water and weird new-fangled gadgets and young punks on our lawns. But, fuck it, we still competed and cheered and chased it all with celebratory post-game beers and grease. I still love it.

So, we lost last night. But goddamn it was close – we came within seconds of overcoming a few weird calls and a six-point deficit in the second half. The turning point had to be the arrival of our now not-so-secret-weapon Greg, who managed to sneak undefended into the end zone for a few easy ones. Down by one on the line, awaiting pull, the surging Hammers were shocked to hear our green opponents (CLEARLY SCARED SHITLESS), call the game. It was a disappointing loss, technically, but an incredibly satisfying moral victory.

Holy shit, the highlights. There were so many. Once we broke that cup, the Gregor to Captain to Wheeler to Honey to Biggie to Bunny to Cruddick daisy chain* was a thing of beauty to behold. I think we pulled that off four or five times. As for the specifics, please behold this series of images and GIFs, representing how I will hitherto recall these events:

Honey (Lebron)’s Official Bag of Hammers PLAY OF THE YEAR, OMFG!

Cruddick lays out!

Bunny takes out a week of work frustrations on the disk with a raging celebration!

AA and Biggie’s near miss!

The time that dude on the other team absolutely decimated his female teammate in the endzone!

Their Littlefinger-esque captain was shaken:

The Armview Crazy-Ass Feature Burger with Kettle Chips and Weird Cheese (that nobody ordered) Player of the Game is Gregor for the stellar handling all night (heck, all season). And for having the balls to call that guy NOT IN, mere moments after calmly picking up his own incomplete pass to continue the play. Brass ones :)

But THIS CAN’T BE IT. Captain has circulated an email proposing a date of 1-Oct for our end-of-year BBQ. Let’s do this.

I miss you already,
-AA
xo

*may not be appropriate metaphor

Can you hear the thunder?

That's the sound of the Hammers coming for you Sharky, and/or the sound of crappy English heavy metal.  Luckily the literal thunder (both the weather and hard rock varieties) stayed away and we were merely subjected to oppressive humidity.   The metaphorical thunder on the other hand was very much present. We were awesome. That's pretty much it. Offense - check. Defense - check. Face catches, dolphin catches, and reach around catches - sadly lacking. Actual catches,  great cuts,  passes that went to intended targets, and points - check check check and 12x check. We didn't quite finish them on points (sorry Armsy!) but we did dominate and played very well as a team.  And Greg got a point.  And as always it was a very enjoyable and relaxed game against Sharky and crew.

Now, on to more serious matters. I'd like to take a minute and talk about pets and how they are trying to kill us all. I submit exhibit A:

Recently, one of our very own was stricken with mono, putting his poor, helpless spleen in grave danger:

My knowledge of anatomy is pretty much limited to things on the outside, but I'm 90% sure AA's spleen is the blue one.

Some will have you believe mono is caused by a virus, some will tell you it is called "Epstein-Barr", and some will say it can be cured by modern medicine.  I tell you they are all wrong.  Think about the symptoms: fatigue, lethargy, weakness.  Who else displays all these traits on a daily basis?  That's right, THE COMMON HOUSE-CAT.

I'm cute, I'm lazy, and I'm gonna PUT YOU TO SLEEP bitches!!!

AA may have been concerned about spreading this "virus" to family and pets, but he got it wrong.  It's the pets trying to turn us all into a bunch of feckless, lazy bums.  If they had their way, we'd all be draped over our desks at work, limbs dangling, only changing position to lick our own asses and chase bugs.  Not a bad life (except the hairballs of course), but still, I would prefer not to have to use the washroom in a box of gravel.

Point is, keep an eye on those furry bastards, and keep your spleens covered!

What cats dream about - straight shot to the spleen!

Jammed!

I don’t know what the final score was, but we won. Handily, I believe. In ANOTHER frigging wind storm.

This game saw the return of Biggie; and the emergence of Sally as a deep threat; and a Wheeler hat trick (I think); and two super nice spares who, if you squinted, looked just like Hammers anyway; and another one of Armsy’s ha-ha-thought-you-had-the-disc-but-I-reached-in-and-took-that-shit-right-from-in-front-of-you, play of the year-type catches – sending the sidelines, rightfully, into hysteria. Bender, Captain, Honey, Bunny – thumbs up, everyone. Way to run out those long long loooong (long) points.

FYI, our opponents won this month’s HURL Spirit award – and in general, I’d have to agree that they were mostly cool, give or take a sideline drill sergeant and a cranky, beefy guy who thought he was JJ Watt (Dan knows who I mean). And they had a tiny guy called Bruno (!?), which I hope (dear god I hope) was not an ironic nickname.

The Lower Deck Parking Lot Patio Beer player of the game would have to be Colleen/Wheeler for her offense, and her ability to maintain tight d-coverage while keeping a bird flipped to her own sideline (lol). An additional tip-of-the-cap would have to go to Armsy’s aforementioned disc robbery (I think that guy is still looking around for it… somebody check the field), and a fantastic save from Biggie (albeit one for which she did not have to lay out, unfortunately).

Thanks again to everyone who came out! I can’t help but notice that our numbers are dwindling, somewhat… Hammer Men, let’s get those knees and ankles wrapped up – playoffs are upcoming, and I’d sure like to be able to field a team *pouty face*

*forced smile*

Many kisses,
AA

Really, Everything Is Okay

Tension. Compliments forced through tight smiles. Quiet contrarian cheers. Empty displays of spirit. Internalized screaming. Fck, there was so much subtext to this game (at least in my mind) that it could have been scripted by David Lynch, which I suppose would make me (or Cruddick) the dancing midget, Tim the stoic police sheriff, and Wheeler’s Uncle D this guy?

Maybe? Where was I?

True, we lost. But trust me when I say it could have gone so much worse. Despite my pre-game pleas for spirit, I couldn’t help but sarcastically shout along to our opponent’s crazy loud “UP!” calls, drawing immediate side-eyes from my mark and regrets from my inner Ultimate hippy (typically suppressed). Thankfully, shit didn’t continue to devolve from there – really, the only “incident” was Pelch’s uncontested sideline foul that drew a snotty retort from its recipient. I like to think that both sides were trying to avoid the relative unpleasantness from our last meeting. I won’t lie – I really wasn’t looking forward to this game, but it was fine. IT WAS FINE! Fun, too.

Despite all of the above, and frankly – the final score, I think we played quite well. Sans handlers Coach and Bender, we still managed to move the disc really really well, and mounted something of a comeback before half to make it close. Tim and Armsy were on fire, Bunny and Pelch were everywhere, Sally and Captain handled like pros, Honey and Wheeler really took advantage of the weak female coverage, and Cruddick continued to kill it on those initial cuts. Apologies to everyone whom I missed with my wonky throws (WHY DO I KEEP TRYING TO HANDLE?!).

Wheeler’s near circus catch (with her eyes closed!) scored her a Mike’s Hard Spirit Cran – right out from under Captain’s expecting hands, lol! I’ll award the Hal-Con Final Fantasy Cosplay Photo Booth Player Of The Game to both Bunny and Tim, who frankly killed it. Honorable mentions to everyone else. :)

Kisses, everybody. Sorry for the weak, disjointed blog – all of this pretending to be nice is exhausting!
Also, go check out Mulholland Drive. It’s awesome.
-AA

PS: Get well soon, Coach Dan!

SUCK IT, SHARKEY!

Don't let the title of this blog fool you. That was arguably the most fun and most friendly game of ultimate! AA -- you would have thoroughly enjoyed yourself. Were they not the nicest, most polite bunch? I was asked by 3 different female players whether my stuffed finger was ok. One even pointed out potholes in the field so that I wouldn't misstep and hurt myself. Who does this? The inDISCtructibles, I guess. It's always good times playing Sharkey's team. And it's even better times when we waste them. Suck it, Sharkey. Ok, perhaps some bitterness lingers from him leaving our team to forge his own - and he's not even good to boot...but I digress. 

Anyway, enough about them, let's talk Hammers! 


We were AAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAZING! We were on fire while on D. Greg's insane air-defying leaps to smack down that disc were sick. Jenn played some solid D as per usually. And we musn't forget Honey and Cruddick's awesome throw downs themselves. Offensively, props go to Greg and Chippy (did i just give myself, props? Why yes i did) for running out all of those nice long passes and for adding some always fun screaming to the mix. Cruddick, Honey and Bunny for advancing the disc up the field so well with those short passes. Lots of great one-handed snatches by Becks, Scott, Jay and others.  

The Sweaty-Mess, Crunchy-Grass Playa of the game goes to Zoe Watson, the cutest and most chill baby fan we've ever had watch our games! Was that a cop out? Sorry gang, you were ALL fabulous out there. So the cute baby wins.

xo chippy

28 MINUTES LATER

Twenty-eight minutes.

It took twenty-eight minutes to play the final “point”, which ended sans score, with Coach laying prone on his back with a twisted ankle, being stared down by two armies of swarthy soccer studs and their whistle-happy referees. Somewhere in those 28 minutes there was a contested defensive foul (?!) which led to some confused sideline shouting over the wind, wherein everyone was trying to say the same thing, loudly. Yes, the wind. Obviously it was the wind – blowing our passes and their passes all over the goddamn place, interrupting our admittedly SOLID disc movement for most of the game with a sudden upward gust reminding us who the EFF is in charge (but not quite drowning out the sideline shouting from their shouty sideline coach).

Defense. Last night’s game saw a ton of awesome D. I was kind of distracted by my kids, but I’m pretty sure everyone had a chance to reject SOMETHING. Bender, Tim, Coach, Sally, Chippy, Armsy, Froggy, Greg (etc etc etc) – I’m pretty sure I saw all y’all bat down a few errant passes with authouritae. And our no-brainer zone defense, vocally championed by Colleen, wonderful. I’d have to think that on a less unsettled night, we’d have torn through that team by 10 points.

The Patrick Swayze Memorial She’s Like The Wind Player of the Game goes to Scott/Froggy for several games worth of perfect cuts, and for a near circus rescue catch that, if successful, surely would rival Greg’s two face catches for play of the year. From my side of the field, it almost looked like Scott was trying to reproduce the Ace Ventura rhino birth scene, but y’know, with a frisbee. Great game, dude.

And now – a tangent! This is, I think, the most Cape Breton story I’ve ever heard. Terri was traveling home from a CB funeral yesterday when her Mom lays this one on her: her Great Uncle Neely passed away about a decade ago. At Neely’s funeral, a Great Aunt approached Neely’s son (let’s call him Little John, as a regionally accurate nickname) and said that Neely wasn’t his father, as his Mom was pregnant when they were married with someone else’s child. Let’s call him Big John. Stunned, Little John decided to get in touch with Big John, but Big John denied that he was the father, “impossible, it’s not me”.

Several years pass, and Big John passes away. Still kinda shaken by the thought that Neely wasn’t his Dad, Little John reaches out to Big John’s son. After something of a discussion, Little John sends along his photo. “Holy jeez, you look more like my dad than I do!” was apparently the reaction. Excited that he may have confirmed his lineage, Little John and Big John’s son agree to have their DNA tested, only the tests came back negative, because… BIG JOHN’S SON WAS NOT REALLY BIG JOHN’S SON, because his mother was ALSO pregnant with someone else’s kid before they got married.

Rural. Cape. Breton. Folks.

(As an aside, turns out that DNA tests with Big John’s daughters confirmed that Little John was his son, whereas the actual lineage of the other “son” remains a Nova Scotia mystery).

Kisses,
AA

FANTASTIC!!

I can’t guarantee this blog will capture all the highlights of the game because I have just been assigned “writer of the blog” this morning. Thanks Double spiced Nuts!

The sun was shining the wind was coming across the field giving no one the advantage. We came out strong against their zone defense. So strong in fact we scored the first two points! Our handlers, which we had many of, did an amazing job swing that disc back and forth making lots of one handed catches as others were finding that open space and cutting like true Hammers!

Hoff in Public had some very skilled players on their side. Bandana dude, who felt like he was 7 feet tall when he was guarding you, was a force out there and that guy who did that crazy throw! You know what I am talking about! Flicked the disc over his head backwards. What the hell kinda throw was that??

I have to say though we really did play well despite the final score. We were starting to get the hang of the piston cuts and really swinging that disc around making the cup defense work hard on us. I have to give Bender and Coach all the credit for explaining to the team how we could beat the Hoff in Public zone defense.

Highlights from the game:

• Armsy was all over the place swatting down those high floaters, making one handed catches, but the one move that caused the basketball player some confusion of the field was catching the disc on her knees/butt. It was funny to watch her try and figure out if she was allowed standing or having to throw the disc from her butt. Its tough remembering all the rules to all different sports :)
• It is without fail now that Greg can’t go through a game without a face-catch! Last night’s catch to the face literally made the game stop for a few seconds by the other team, ensuring Greg was okay. We are just use to it and knew he was just fine. PLAY ON!
•  Gregor (Bender) was aggressive on and off the field with the Ultimate Frisbee 11th Edition Rules book in hand on a few plays ;)
•  Honey Bunny cuts have to be the best cuts out there. At times you could swear they are one person with those matching hats!
• Sally hearing the disc fly by her ear in the end zone. Next time we could yell “disc up” for you lol I also remember Sally coming from nowhere and smashing down the disc on defense. Powerhouse!!!! ·        
• Leapfrog or as we call him now “Froggy” not because of his lack of voice last night but for his crazy leaps on the field. Froggy was one of the key handlers last night making some great long bomb throws!
• Cruddick showing off his fancy dance moves out there as everyone on the sidelines yelled “force away!” We then got a sign from Cruddick assuring everyone (including the children on the sidelines) that he heard us. His middle finger!
• Double nuts (okay, maybe that isn’t Aaron’s nickname but it is today) was itching to be a cutter all game so for the last point he took the position with Bender, unfortunately it wasn’t his dream position mainly because I was one of the handlers and just couldn’t get the disc to the cutters that round. However, Double nuts did have a few long runs in him and a shit load of sweet catches as he was mastering the position of handler
• Chippy had some fantastic catches resulting in a point or two and a couple throws that just weren’t catchable but always followed with a very loud scream.
• Coach- I was a bit worried when the game started and Coach wasn’t there, but 10 mins into the game I could see three McAfee’s making their way to the field! We need Coach there, plus it might rain and he is only one wearing gloves to catch the disc
•  Glutes was one of the cutters on the field last night making some great cuts to the center where he ended up getting wide open.

The thing I remember most from this game has to be all of the crazy catches and the defensive moves from both teams that ended up being caught resulting in amazing plays The Armview Spiced Nuts player of the games goes to Aaron!! For his great work on the field and for taking the time each week to write the blog, which we all love to read! Thanks Double A!!

See you guys all next week!
-Captain

Happy Travels, Yeezy

Well, that wasn’t so bad.

The orange-triangle-spirit-rated-Kanye-West-joke-of-a-team turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of surprisingly-humourless, somewhat-athletic newbs led by two semi-pros and Ser Gregor Clegane in a Jesus costume. That they won is immaterial – we played fucking awesome. This is two weeks in a row that we faced, and exploited, a weak zone defense to our advantage - we swung the disk quickly, we provided good cuts to advance it upfield, and we made the sometimes-necessary-completely-bonkers-single-fingernail-circus-grabs to keep the plays alive (holy shit, Colleen). It was close. We almost had it. I kinda feel that if we had the balls to call a few of the more egregious travels and picks early in the game, we may have come out on top. Regardless, you’re all winners in MY book, which is the only one that really counts (eat it, Bible).

BUT, the game was not without its drama. See: Bunny and Coach suffering upper- and lower-body injuries, respectively, in quick succession in the second half; a few of their points mayhaps could have been contested due to some of the aforementioned (albeit innocent?) egregious fouls; at any given time during the game, half of our team seemed to be livid over something, while the other half seemed blissfully unaware – giggling and frolicking peacefully through the Spryfield greenery; and after three-quarters of a game of SHAMELESSLY exploiting the most poorly-worded rule in an inexplicably large book of rules for application to a self-refereed sport, Mrs. Cheery McTravelson and her laughably poor attempts to counter her own inertia were finally called out by Chippy. At which point, even her own teammates were nodding in agreement (which, LOL).

It was my favourite kind of game. :)

I gotta say, I’m loving the coaching from Coach, and the sideline input from our more experienced players - be it Sally advising me not to enact my obnoxious protest travel, Honey asking the good questions, or Bender telling us where we should be standing/cutting to. Beautiful! On-field highlights included a highlight-reels-worth of awesome defensive rejections courtesy of Greg; that crazy catch from Colleen/Wheeler; and some pretty sweet cup-breaking passes from our Captain. The LOLOLOL Nick McGrath Stubby Fruit Punch Player of the Game would have to go to Bunny, who was everywhere last night, and may have played the last half-hour concussed, possibly in violation of the HURL concussion protocol, which may or may not exist in that tome of a rules “handbook” – regardless, we admire your GRIT, Brian Burke would be proud.

Good job, y’all – see you next week!
-AA

PS: On a more serious note, let’s try to enjoy these fleeting moments of camaraderie and happiness while we can, before civilization as we know it collapses under a Trump presidency, and we’re all enlisted to battle in WWIII. *nods somberly*

PPS: Kool Moe Dee!

D-Jean Does Dartmouth (and Other Dirty Deeds)

Hey all,

It was a game that saw Greg catch a disk with his face (no, really – it was wonderful), Armsy score a hat-track, and the near-triumphant return of the D-Jean, who hasn’t lost a beat. It was a game that saw us employ a strategy, and stick to said strategy, and then tweak first said strategy when it stopped working. It was a game that we ULTIMATE-ly lost (heh), but it was close, and well-mannered, and very very very enjoyable. Sally and Gregor and Captain and Tim all took to handling against the cup like pros; Honey, Bunny and Scott (“Leapfrog” – which we’ll have to start using more) cut and crashed the cup and moved the disk beautifully. And Cruddick rode in on his surfboard and proceeded to flap his arms wildly :)

Then, eight of us went out for consolation beers and dead celebrity remembrances at the Ship Victory – which I’ve gone from enjoying semi-ironically, to now just earnestly loving. This must be what growing up feels like.

 Our opponents fielded a team of Captain Obvious dopplegangers, which (i) I smugly pointed out at every opportunity lest the beauty of that observation go unnoticed; and (ii) seemed to affect our defensive coverage (along with the general confusion on transition from zone D to man-to-man coverage). They also moved the disk really well on those transitions. But enough congratulatory back-patting, let’s point out that one time they did something dumb. I’m speaking, of course, about the decision of their most obvious Captain Obvious to boot down a still-airborne pull (lol), which we promptly MADE THEM EAT IN THE END-ZONE. I only bring it up because we lost, and that is something I would totally do, too.

The Chris Hyndman Memorial Ship Victory Player Of The Game goes to Greg for that beautiful beautiful face-catch, with honorable mentions to Armsy’s hat-track and Gregor’s ace disk placement all game (*kisses fingertips*). Hammers at mid-season form are my favourite Hammers, Hammers.

I miss you all, already.
XO
-AA

She's Like The Wind

Hey Hammers - Happy Canada Day! 

If you weren't there last night, know that we won; that it took probably 10 minutes to score the first point, and another 10 to score the second; that it was mostly the wind's fault, except for the pass Cruddick threw over the bleachers (lol, still); that everyone played great; that I'm still chuckling over Dan and Sharky kicking the disc back and forth to each other on the goal line; that the prodigal Glutes (who?) made his triumphant return to the Hammers; that Greg ran down and grabbed that long bomb (and kept running... :); that I like long lists; that I'm frantically typing this into my phone while my family packs for vacation; that we stacked well and cut well and, hell, that we're actually stacking and cutting; and, did I mention we won? We won!

If you were there - good job! Remember all that stuff? That was awesome.

The Lower Deck "Lower Decker Burger" (what? Ugh) Player Of The Game, by sideline consensus, was Coach Dan - with honourable mentions for everybody else. 

Kisses, Hammers - enjoy your long weekend and please kick some more asssss next week!

-AA

Goodnight You Princes of Sprytown, You Kings of Graves-Oakley

Well, Hammers, a 15-3 victory isn’t something we experience every week. Or even every season. Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time we reached 15. But last night was one such magical occasion – buoyed by the beautiful weather, cross-field winds, a no-brainer defense (that we stuck to quite well!), and a well-natured group of newb opponents. Oh, and an admirable decision to not let up AT ALL. Perhaps it was the week of internalized residual Dodgeball mindgame frustration. Maybe it was the inspiration provided by my bright orange-pineapple shorts. Or maybe it was the infectious energy provided by a sprinting, diving, scoring Chippy. Maybe all three?

Regardless, Hammers Forever-President-In-Sprit D-Land would be so very proud.

There are too many highlights to recall here, but here are a few: Chippy’s aforementioned (enthusiastic yet unsuccessful) layout; Bender’s huge defensive shift, featuring double (triple?) rejections; Punter/Wheeler’s point, caught between her pinky fingers; Honey and Bunny (STILL MAKES ME LAUGH) and their relentless cutting, and always being open… I know I missed a whack of highlights – y’all were too awesome. Jeez, did everyone score? I think everyone scored. It was a large night, friends. I’m still kind of aroused smiling.

The Armview 90s R&B Playlist & Heaping Guacamole Nachos Player of the Game is a collective everyone who showed up. Hugs to all of you. Seeeee you next week.
-AA

PS: Cruddick, you should prolly check yourself for ticks.

PPS:

Mambo Number 5 (or, Douche Bag Number 5!)

There were hipsters, incredibility bad traffic, food trucks, fouls, skateboards, picks, terrible calls, intense morons, bloody lips, really tall bicycles, a very cute 3 weeks old baby!! and a lot of angry hammers in the downtown area last evening.

I probably shouldn’t be writing this blog while still all fired up. But what a stupid game that was! Not much fun at all. I almost walked off the field a few times in frustration and anger. Could of been because i haven't eaten, but i think Mambo number 5 also had a lot to do with it. The whole dodgeball team just loved yelling foul and pick for no reason at all. That call on Bunny was hilarious. He was convinced Bunny shoved him from behind. Greg, did you catch that play on camera?? Would love to see the replay.

 Towards the end of the game after another crazy foul call i actually yelled out "Are you for real?” Can I really give this douche bag team 0 spirit points? Because I want to.

As terrible as that game was we did have a few laughs. I mean, come on Airbender (or AKA Fancy) was out there playing in his deck shoes. He thought he could pick up some speed his is fancy Sebago's. Michelle and Zoe came out to watch the game, which was nice, Chippy and Landshark were doing some great quick passes back and forth to each other yelling out “Sorry” now and then, every time Thumber would throw the disc the other team would announce “watch those wonky throws”, Leapfrog was doing his moves in our end zone getting most of our points, Sally was keeping the team positive and playing it cool as the handler and Sneak arrived to the game a bit late with his family in tow as he flew all over the field causing the team to screamed out “foul” as Sneak played awesome defense in my option!

The part that upset me the most was that Alex (Captain of the other team) didn't give me the spirit beer this game :) Maybe it was because I was out there being an asshole trying to fit in with their team while Honey was playing like she owned this game and caught their eye! I have to admit though they were bang on picking the player of the game! Honey was catching some tough throws all over the field! Meanwhile i was smacking down the disc right into Bunny's face causing a bit of facial damage :s yikes!! Hope you didn't need stitches Sandy!!

 See you guys next week in Sprytown!
-Captain Becky

WE'RE BACK (GUESS WHO'S BACK)

Guys, we won. Guys. We did it. There was wind. There was a little bit of rain. There were sharks and soccer balls and snot rockets and skin-eating turf and general confusion over where we had to play. And there were straaaaiined Frisbee puns. But we triumphed over all such adversity and rode home to victory on the backs of so many dominated ex-Tuna*. Speaking of strained.

Given our familiarity with half of their team, last night felt more like a chill soccer friendly, and so it was a great game through which to ease into the season. We were able to work on some fundamentals (stacking, zone), and slowly refamiliarize ourselves with the mechanics of running and catching things after so many weeks of sedentary hockey playoff binging and beer drinking. I am mainly talking about myself here. Also, it makes a UUUGE difference having Gregor/Bender back to give us that extra punch at handler. *air punch*

But make no mistake, Hammers, we (I) were (was) not quite at mid-season form. Specifically, we all seemed to forget the cardinal rule of Do Not Let AA Throw The Disc. And we all kept forgetting all game. Fortunately, Armsy scored a bazillion points, which gave us plenty of room to freestyle wind-blown pizza cutters into the adjacent field. Thus, Armsy is your Breton Brewing Red Coat Ale Player Of The Game – whee! In her acceptance speech, I hope she clarifies what the “genital rules” of Ultimate are (LOLOLOLOL), and how they may relate to that dude taking a pizza cutter direct to the balls without even flinching.

Individual play of the game was CLEARLY Biggie/Bidginity/Angela’s diving circus catch to score. I suspect this will become a thing. And I’m pretty psyched about it.

In short – good game everybody. I missed you all, and am happy to meet the new guys . NEXT WEEK WE GO FOR BEERZ.
-AA

*FYI: Team was called Tuna last year.

You’re The Hammer Bags?

Holy mother of god it was cold out last night! Our bodies were cold, the wind was a bitch and we could barely feel our fingers most of the game. Good to be back on the field though ;) Maybe the freezing cold weather can explain why our pre-game and post-game cheers were terrrrrrible! I guess it was me that was supposed to be me yelling the “Hip Hip” part between the “hoorays”. However, the halftime talk was extremely helpful! The old torn up hand towel that was probably on the field since last season came in handy when explaining the game plan for the second half (see photo below).

The “hammer bags” came out a bit rusty for the first game of the season but I have to say we weren’t all that bad. With two new hammer bags joining the team this season I think we are going to be looking good! Scott put us on the board early with capturing our first point of the season and Angela, well Angela had an AMAZING dive in the end zone bring our score to 4. This totally earned her Player of the Game!!!

We had a few complaints from the other team. Tony the tiger complained about our team height (I think it was directed at Armsy though), the loud stall counts coming from Fish and Chips/ Tarter Sause and the body checking coming from Bunny. I didn’t notice a thing. I did hear though, someone yell “That game was so exciting I’m going to crap my pants” oh wait, maybe that comment came from Charles and or James? I could easier make more comments on this game but I will leave it to the team to add in what you remember.

Here are some new and revised nicknames!

Angela –Bidginity -Similar to the word “virginity,” bidginity relates to the first time someone bids. Bidding is a mindset everybody has to overcome. Running full speed and bellyflopping the ground for the first time can be intimidating. It may be uncomfortable at first, and there might even be a little blood. But once it’s all over you’ll realize it wasn’t so bad and that you kind of want to do it again. Everyone will praise you for finally losing your bidginity and you’ll want to tell everyone the exact details of the moment. Most people lose it in college or even high school, and there’s always that one kid that lost it in middle school. Don’t be that person that goes through life never losing their bidginity. There is nothing that will bring you closer to the sport you love, so don’t be afraid to get down and dirty.

Scott- Leapfrog- One of the most epic things to ever happen in Ultimate Frisbee. It is the act of jumping so high to grab a disc that you literally jump over someone in the process.

Gregor- Airbender- An Airbender is an exceptionally good Handler capable of manipulating the frisbee in ways never thought possible. They seem to complete every single pass with incredible accuracy and execution, no matter the situation. They are also a master of every single throw and typically know the game very well. “Airbender” is among one of the most prestigious nicknames to be called in Ultimate. There used to be countless Ultimate Frisbee Airbenders in existence but that all changed when the fire- nation attacked.

Jay- Thumber- Just because of the way he hucks it down the field.

Greg- Sneak – An unexpected running play

Colleen- Wheeler (Wheel of Death) - This throw is extremely rare, most don’t have the balls to do it in a real game. It is a combination of throwing with the thumb and the hammer. Colleen has been practicing her hammer throw and this nickname screams “toughness”

Chris- Landshark -We all know that player that bids and lays out for every disc, sometimes way more than they need to. If you know someone whose belly touches the ground more than their feet, they are most definitely a landshark.

- Becky/Captain