30-Odd Fouls (and a Pick)

Well, that was fun (really, no sarcasm).

We entered the field to a gauntlet of shrieking, catty teens and side eye-casting soccerati ; we left *spoiler* with sore muscles, Michelle, and a satisfying tie. Our opponents were a similarly-aged team with a similar lax attitude toward offensive structure, yet an unfortunate dedication towards zone defense, goin’ deep and wild facial hair (…that ‘stache, man).

Despite a dearth of dude subs, we EXPLODED out of the gates, racking up a 4-1 lead – before running out of gas (i.e. pre-game beers) somewhat, and we headed into half tied at 6’s… whereupon we KIND OF EXPLODED OUT OF THE GATES AGAIN (BUT TO A LESSER DEGREE), eking ahead 9-8 with Greg/Anne’s evasive maneuvering and well-practiced alligator catches. Then, we were treated to an act of selfless spirit not witnessed this season: their captain offered last point with north of five minutes left – a favour we returned moments later by giving them the tie. No matter – they actually play in the tier above us, and we damned near beat them. We should be puffy with pride.

It should be noted that, as the title states, this game was peppered with a ludicrous number of fouls. Funnily enough, all but one particularly egregious strip call were completely justified and uncontested. And despite the number of fouls, I never once thought that either team were being nit-picky, or douchey, or reckless, or rough. They were friendly fouls, really. Good job, everybody.

Picking a Lower Deck Donair Eggroll Oh God What Was I Thinking Player of the Game is a bit of a challenge, as everyone killed it: Bunny and Screech crashing the cup; Captain, Coach and Sally handling against said cup; Armsy saving so many errant passes; Greg’s aforementioned beer-fueled energy; etc. But I’mma give it to Tim for his impressive vertical in the end zone to evade his coverage and snag that 8^th point for us. Play. Of. The Game.

Kisses, all!

-AA

PS: if you haven’t let us know what your story is for September 12^th playoffs, please do so ASAP!

The Next to Next to Next to [...] Last Game

Well, folks, at least technically it was a win.

Really, there’s not much to say about last night’s somewhat demoralizing shit-kicking at the short-handed hands of our competitively friendly nemeses, Fury (Discs Of). After taking the default win (6-0!), we opted to face our opponents 5-on-5 – whereupon we were handily trounced (16-9!). I like to think that: maybe only their strong players showed up (as they certainly were strong, and fast, and TALL) … and/or that we hardly played at full-throttle without the added motivation of formality (save for the fearless diving duo of Pelch and Honey, and the tenacious D of a bouncing Anne) … and/or that we can’t deal with unnaturally thick, creepy, smothering fog (The Others, anyone?) … and/or we don’t know what to do with any less than 7 players on the field, on each team, at a given time. This last point has been proven repeatedly over the years – I can only imagine the carnage had we faced them 7-on-4, as they offered off the top! Lol.

Lol, indeed. I still had fun.

Annnnnnyway… the Armview Towering Dagwood Sandwich Player of the Game go-eth to Bunny, in recognition of a strong season, and for completing (at long last): the BUNNY MUSTARD point!

Kisses, all.

-AA

PS: http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/pool-bears-want-to-remind-you-that-summer-aint-over-yet-1725613987

The Bees Knees

We're gonna keep this short and simple. We (The BOH) lost. They (The Huckerbees) won. The score was 14-8 (it would have been 13-8 had we not agreed to play an additional, after time point). It was hot. And humid. AA - you would have hated the conditions. Greg was amazing/entertaining as always. Cheetah-like sprints, so many near-catches in the end-zone, lots of crazy-ass comments. Jay(Tim) was also amazing, securing his title as Assist-King, in spite of his near death by a slicing disc/pizza wheel. Cruddick is still miserable with that stupid calf injury. Colleen, despite being in her first trimester, was able to play a great defensive game. It was so hot, I can't remember who else was there. Some girl named Aimée might have scored a bucket load of points (while on her knees), but nobody is counting (4!) The We-All-Suck-Too-Tired-To-Go-Out-For-A-Beer playa of the game is Jay/Tim for always finding the open man (woman). Peace out playas, Chippy

BECKY!!! There are babies over there!!

Hammers...WE SCORED 13 POINTS LAST NIGHT!!  It was amazing.  A thing of beauty really.  An absolute thumping of the All Odds squad with a final of 13-6 (I think).  And boy did they not enjoy losing.  I mean Tall-ee McTall started out as a cranky dude (see first play where he attempted to call a strip for a female teamate but she confirmed she simply just didn't catch the disc) but by the end of the night he was just done.  With his own teamates and definitely with us.  Oh and the Becky to Greg to Becky to Greg after a "your not in" call was the icing on the cake. 

But enough about them.  Let's relish in our victory and in the fact that we are seriously amazing this year.  Some (but not all) highlights from last night:

1. Armsy making the play of the year - the year I tell you - when she scooped the frisbee from the front of an opponent by simply reaching over her in the end zone for a point to us.  Amazing.  The lady I was standing beside could only say "huh, that's why you guys call her that isn't?"

2.  D-jean playing like a pro.  All game.  But specifically when he let sail the throw of the night from mid-field into the end zone (which was caught for another Hammer point) by reaching down beneath the guarding player's arm and sailing a disc up and curled in.  It was fucking amazing.  My jaw literally dropped.

3.  Becky making some amazing pulls and one not so amazing pull that led Colleen (guardian and lover of all babies and small children) to exclaim "no Becky...there are babies over there."  In fairness, Becky did try to take out the 2-3 small babies hanging out on the other team's sidelines.

4.  Anne of GG being a defensive genius and annoying the other team every single time he was on the field.  Oh and scoring a super nice point as well.

5.  Glutes and D-Jean showing just what Canadians are made of and both watching a disc fall to the ground for a turn as neither wanted to take the glory of catching it away from the other.  Despite the fact that both could have easily made said catch.  So sweet.

6.  AA making a leaping catch to grab said disc and stay in bounds in the end zone for ANOTHER amazing point.

Guys it was my favourite game of the year so far, and not just because we discussed after the game Lenny's pierced penis at the Ship Victory over TRUE victory fries.  In case you wanted to see the gif I was referring to, here is a link:

http://gawker.com/lenny-kravitz-shredded-so-hard-his-dick-fell-out-on-sta-1722016044

Ship Victory Joint Player of the Game honours go to Armsy and D-Jean.  Both plays outlined above would be on the TSN highlights of the night if rec Ultimate Frisbee was televised.  Which it clearly should be.  At least all Hammer games.

Love you all.

MK