An Open Letter To The League Convenors

Dear HURL,

Let's assume it was an honest mistake that you had scheduled for us to play last night on a field that does not exist anymore - as it has been fenced off and excavated, looking more like a motocross track than a woman's field hockey pitch or speed skating oval or patch of usable public space. Yes, let's assume you had entered the wrong field code into the schedule, or misspelled "Wanderer's Grounds", or were distracted by the annual parade of dead-eyed Shinerama participants, or something similarly careless. Know, however, that you robbed us of our chance at redemption against the universally loathed Dirty Discs, aka the only team that baited our Captain into a shouting match, and embarrassed us in the hushed presence of Hammer Royalty, King Dr. Wiggy.

Know this, and feel shame.

But know also that your failure to function competently gave us our first second near-full-team practice of the season, and just before the playoffs at that. It was also our introduction to new ringer Marcie "H-Mac" Balch - who gives us renewed hope in our season-long quest to destroy the short, bearded and relentless Discs Of Fury - our arch nemeses. The immediate future looks bright for the Hammers - a spike in confidence the result of your idiocy.

I will forgive you this time, HURL, but know that behind my professional smile and courteous handshake lies a frothing ocean of suppressed anger and disappointment - a tempest that can only be quelled with ample amount of free alcohol, hand delivered in gaudy neon cooler bags this Saturday afternoon.

Know this also, and consider thyself forewarned. Ball is in your court, or more aptly, disc is in yr hands.

Sincerely,
AA

PS: Playoff field location is below: