Excalibur!

Contrary to all logic and in defiance of God's will, the Bag of Hammers did indeed battle the awesomely-named Rajon Randos last night - in the Arthurian fog and winds, high atop the Plains Of Abraham Cowie Hill field. Although short-handed, our tye-died opponents were noticeably improved since our last battle at Ravenscraig...

Led by an unfortunately-bearded, aggressive dude in a blue hat, the Randos took it to the Hammers early, pinning us against the wind with a tight cup that often seemed like a double (or triple) team - which I'm pretty sure is illegal, but turning a blind eye to egregious fouls is how we have managed to inflate our spirit points (no. 2, yo!). But we persevered, enduring long sloppy points, at odds with both the weather and a slippery disc, which was often batted from hand to hand, drifting on the wind between teams and teammates before (usually) being unceremoniously dropped. Regardless, victory was ours - savoured over deep-dish nachos and beers at The Foggy Goggle. Mmmm.

Unfortunately, we are the victims of our own success, as our win all but ensures that we will be bumped up into the dreaded Second Tier, destined to face our old nemeses Discs Of Fury and SLUGG... *shakes fist*

Notable highlights: Blue Hat taking the disc in the teeth, much to the quiet amusement of our Captain (and I suspect, some of the Randos); Matt's continued tight D; a great game-ending catch from Heather; Bryan effortlessly breaking the cup.

This was a fun win.

-AA

"O'Doyle rules!"

"Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy. "

The only pop culture reference to sloppy joes I could think of was the lunch lady in Billy Madison, which led me to imDb.com (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112508/quotes), which made me think the screenplay would actually be a great read (while watching the movie would make me dumber).

Anyway, lovely win in the wind last night vs. the Sloppy Joes, whose disorganized defence (extra sloppy?) helped us reveal our inner all-star (Awwwwww!). We're gelling as a team and things are looking up. That's not just optimism talking, look at the frigging standings: http://www.halifaxultimate.ca/teams/team_rankings.php?season_id=31&division_id=12 .

I don't think our opponents loved us. They didn't like Matt's tight defence (Whereas I did.), they didn't like Chris's accurate scorekeeping (I thought it was the shit.), they didn't like that we kept our foot on the gas despite having built up a solid lead (Din't they hear we be 2 Legit 2 Quit?). Well, fuck that shit. Winning makes Baby Jesus smile.

Propellor Honey Wheat Player of the Game to everyone! But maybe especially Bryan, for having the chutzpah to lay down some extra style points. Returning to BM:

"If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis..."

Tim

Hammers In Action

Here you are Hammers, in all of your acrobatic, sweaty, face-contorting, crotch-digging glory! Memories of our satisfying win, courtesy of Aimee and Cruddick and whoever else handled the camera tonight. Thanks guys!

Tremendous work AA

Simply spectacular.

If only to deflect attention from my back-to-back identical sweaty-palmed drops and general return to the long hammer game, I blame Wiggy for last night's loss, and I applaud Tim's decision to cut him from the team.

Tough but fair, just like the Ship Victory's deep fryables only policy.

Dirty Discs (Won Dirt Cheap)

Like that headline? I'm quite pleased with it myself, thanks. And that sums up all that pleases me about last night's game.

No, that's a lie. We shouldn't have lost, what with their multiple points via picks (sorry Dan!) and tipped discs, there were some good things to come out of a game played in a hidden corner of an industrial park on a sweltering evening. To wit:

• Dan the Man not only bustin' the rules but bustin' out the long runs to compliment his great short-passing game. A shoo-in for the Propeller Hefeweizen Player of the Game.
• The girls having the option to go with a 5:2 ratio at any point in the evening but playing the entire game 4:3 (meaning the guys had no excuse for any laziness whatsoever). Many thanks to Sara and Lynn for their willingness to handle again and again.
• Matt setting a shining example for all in chasing down discs and husslin' on defence.
• Bryan and Chris with the usual mix of quick, short cuts and deep runs. Many props as well to Chris for being the soccer mom with four kids to drop off at the field.
• And of course the return to the field of former captain Wiggy Von Wigglenuts. Given our success when he played (and the success of our defence once Wiggy advised to play them straight-on), he should've played a lot more.

I think it was fitting that the Ship Victory was unable to prepare Victory Burgers in our honour, given the loss. I think a win would've restored function to the grill, but instead we had to make do with Fries of Defeat. And if post-game drinks proved anything, it's that Jian Ghomeshi is a douchenozzle.

Finally, the Hammers can rest assured the Dirty Discs will not outscore us in spirit points. As much as they might've disliked me after the "last point" confusion, know that I disliked their whiny guy ten times more.

AARON EDIT: I think this picture deserves special attention.
You're welcome.

Participation Ribbons For All!

O, the two sweetest words in the English language: d-fault!

With only four members showing up for last night's hotly contested battle of third tier teams, HUJ were forced to concede the match to their outnumbering opponents (i.e. us). Someone pointed out that prom season may have contributed to the poor turnout - I say, where are these kids' priorities? In my day, when you committed to a co-ed rec sports team, you wore that responsibility like a ball and chain - proms or Disney vacations or emergency surgeries or Cheers series' finales be damned. Pfft.

So not to waste our field time, the teams were split up and a friendly scrimmage ensued. We gave them Bryan, Michelle, Becky and (new) Sarah; they gave us a workout. Quickly evident - had HUJ shown up, it may not have been the cakewalk some of us were expecting. Case in point: that frosted blond kid who ran half the length of the field for a long put, only to go completely horizontal, grabbing the disc with one hand, and finishing with a somersault on landing. Then he crushed a Nalgene bottle on his head and gave the closest female a long, gross, tongue kiss. It was impressive.

In the end, the scrimmage was close (unsurprising as we were essentially playing against ourselves) and more competitive than might have been expected - witness Derek nearly face-planting into the giant metal soccer net after racing neck-in-neck with a HUJ gazelle into the end zone. Most everyone got to touch the disc, with Dan and Bryan both making some exceptional plays - the former laying out to catch an errant toss of mine into the end zone, and the latter chasing down a great pass from (new) Sarah to end the game.

And then the Hammers made their triumphant return to Freeman's, where I was poisoned by whatever manner of biohazardous material lives in their antique draft lines, and Bryan made friends with a pajama-wearing VLT jockey. Ahh, home sweet home.

Happy Canada Day, folks. Rest those quads and calves.

Conditioning.

I feel I must decline to accept the player of the game award on the grounds that I was so woefully out of shape that I essentially became a spectator as soon as they got by our supercup. I stayed fresh for the cut that yielded the point by abandoning much of my defensive responsibility. I think the award should go to Aaron for the effort required to overcome his fatigue and suppress a verbal expression of the vulgarity that churned within him like a bubbling cauldron of obscenity.