Really, Everything Is Okay

Tension. Compliments forced through tight smiles. Quiet contrarian cheers. Empty displays of spirit. Internalized screaming. Fck, there was so much subtext to this game (at least in my mind) that it could have been scripted by David Lynch, which I suppose would make me (or Cruddick) the dancing midget, Tim the stoic police sheriff, and Wheeler’s Uncle D this guy?

Maybe? Where was I?

True, we lost. But trust me when I say it could have gone so much worse. Despite my pre-game pleas for spirit, I couldn’t help but sarcastically shout along to our opponent’s crazy loud “UP!” calls, drawing immediate side-eyes from my mark and regrets from my inner Ultimate hippy (typically suppressed). Thankfully, shit didn’t continue to devolve from there – really, the only “incident” was Pelch’s uncontested sideline foul that drew a snotty retort from its recipient. I like to think that both sides were trying to avoid the relative unpleasantness from our last meeting. I won’t lie – I really wasn’t looking forward to this game, but it was fine. IT WAS FINE! Fun, too.

Despite all of the above, and frankly – the final score, I think we played quite well. Sans handlers Coach and Bender, we still managed to move the disc really really well, and mounted something of a comeback before half to make it close. Tim and Armsy were on fire, Bunny and Pelch were everywhere, Sally and Captain handled like pros, Honey and Wheeler really took advantage of the weak female coverage, and Cruddick continued to kill it on those initial cuts. Apologies to everyone whom I missed with my wonky throws (WHY DO I KEEP TRYING TO HANDLE?!).

Wheeler’s near circus catch (with her eyes closed!) scored her a Mike’s Hard Spirit Cran – right out from under Captain’s expecting hands, lol! I’ll award the Hal-Con Final Fantasy Cosplay Photo Booth Player Of The Game to both Bunny and Tim, who frankly killed it. Honorable mentions to everyone else. :)

Kisses, everybody. Sorry for the weak, disjointed blog – all of this pretending to be nice is exhausting!
Also, go check out Mulholland Drive. It’s awesome.
-AA

PS: Get well soon, Coach Dan!

SUCK IT, SHARKEY!

Don't let the title of this blog fool you. That was arguably the most fun and most friendly game of ultimate! AA -- you would have thoroughly enjoyed yourself. Were they not the nicest, most polite bunch? I was asked by 3 different female players whether my stuffed finger was ok. One even pointed out potholes in the field so that I wouldn't misstep and hurt myself. Who does this? The inDISCtructibles, I guess. It's always good times playing Sharkey's team. And it's even better times when we waste them. Suck it, Sharkey. Ok, perhaps some bitterness lingers from him leaving our team to forge his own - and he's not even good to boot...but I digress. 

Anyway, enough about them, let's talk Hammers! 


We were AAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAZING! We were on fire while on D. Greg's insane air-defying leaps to smack down that disc were sick. Jenn played some solid D as per usually. And we musn't forget Honey and Cruddick's awesome throw downs themselves. Offensively, props go to Greg and Chippy (did i just give myself, props? Why yes i did) for running out all of those nice long passes and for adding some always fun screaming to the mix. Cruddick, Honey and Bunny for advancing the disc up the field so well with those short passes. Lots of great one-handed snatches by Becks, Scott, Jay and others.  

The Sweaty-Mess, Crunchy-Grass Playa of the game goes to Zoe Watson, the cutest and most chill baby fan we've ever had watch our games! Was that a cop out? Sorry gang, you were ALL fabulous out there. So the cute baby wins.

xo chippy

28 MINUTES LATER

Twenty-eight minutes.

It took twenty-eight minutes to play the final “point”, which ended sans score, with Coach laying prone on his back with a twisted ankle, being stared down by two armies of swarthy soccer studs and their whistle-happy referees. Somewhere in those 28 minutes there was a contested defensive foul (?!) which led to some confused sideline shouting over the wind, wherein everyone was trying to say the same thing, loudly. Yes, the wind. Obviously it was the wind – blowing our passes and their passes all over the goddamn place, interrupting our admittedly SOLID disc movement for most of the game with a sudden upward gust reminding us who the EFF is in charge (but not quite drowning out the sideline shouting from their shouty sideline coach).

Defense. Last night’s game saw a ton of awesome D. I was kind of distracted by my kids, but I’m pretty sure everyone had a chance to reject SOMETHING. Bender, Tim, Coach, Sally, Chippy, Armsy, Froggy, Greg (etc etc etc) – I’m pretty sure I saw all y’all bat down a few errant passes with authouritae. And our no-brainer zone defense, vocally championed by Colleen, wonderful. I’d have to think that on a less unsettled night, we’d have torn through that team by 10 points.

The Patrick Swayze Memorial She’s Like The Wind Player of the Game goes to Scott/Froggy for several games worth of perfect cuts, and for a near circus rescue catch that, if successful, surely would rival Greg’s two face catches for play of the year. From my side of the field, it almost looked like Scott was trying to reproduce the Ace Ventura rhino birth scene, but y’know, with a frisbee. Great game, dude.

And now – a tangent! This is, I think, the most Cape Breton story I’ve ever heard. Terri was traveling home from a CB funeral yesterday when her Mom lays this one on her: her Great Uncle Neely passed away about a decade ago. At Neely’s funeral, a Great Aunt approached Neely’s son (let’s call him Little John, as a regionally accurate nickname) and said that Neely wasn’t his father, as his Mom was pregnant when they were married with someone else’s child. Let’s call him Big John. Stunned, Little John decided to get in touch with Big John, but Big John denied that he was the father, “impossible, it’s not me”.

Several years pass, and Big John passes away. Still kinda shaken by the thought that Neely wasn’t his Dad, Little John reaches out to Big John’s son. After something of a discussion, Little John sends along his photo. “Holy jeez, you look more like my dad than I do!” was apparently the reaction. Excited that he may have confirmed his lineage, Little John and Big John’s son agree to have their DNA tested, only the tests came back negative, because… BIG JOHN’S SON WAS NOT REALLY BIG JOHN’S SON, because his mother was ALSO pregnant with someone else’s kid before they got married.

Rural. Cape. Breton. Folks.

(As an aside, turns out that DNA tests with Big John’s daughters confirmed that Little John was his son, whereas the actual lineage of the other “son” remains a Nova Scotia mystery).

Kisses,
AA

FANTASTIC!!

I can’t guarantee this blog will capture all the highlights of the game because I have just been assigned “writer of the blog” this morning. Thanks Double spiced Nuts!

The sun was shining the wind was coming across the field giving no one the advantage. We came out strong against their zone defense. So strong in fact we scored the first two points! Our handlers, which we had many of, did an amazing job swing that disc back and forth making lots of one handed catches as others were finding that open space and cutting like true Hammers!

Hoff in Public had some very skilled players on their side. Bandana dude, who felt like he was 7 feet tall when he was guarding you, was a force out there and that guy who did that crazy throw! You know what I am talking about! Flicked the disc over his head backwards. What the hell kinda throw was that??

I have to say though we really did play well despite the final score. We were starting to get the hang of the piston cuts and really swinging that disc around making the cup defense work hard on us. I have to give Bender and Coach all the credit for explaining to the team how we could beat the Hoff in Public zone defense.

Highlights from the game:

• Armsy was all over the place swatting down those high floaters, making one handed catches, but the one move that caused the basketball player some confusion of the field was catching the disc on her knees/butt. It was funny to watch her try and figure out if she was allowed standing or having to throw the disc from her butt. Its tough remembering all the rules to all different sports :)
• It is without fail now that Greg can’t go through a game without a face-catch! Last night’s catch to the face literally made the game stop for a few seconds by the other team, ensuring Greg was okay. We are just use to it and knew he was just fine. PLAY ON!
•  Gregor (Bender) was aggressive on and off the field with the Ultimate Frisbee 11th Edition Rules book in hand on a few plays ;)
•  Honey Bunny cuts have to be the best cuts out there. At times you could swear they are one person with those matching hats!
• Sally hearing the disc fly by her ear in the end zone. Next time we could yell “disc up” for you lol I also remember Sally coming from nowhere and smashing down the disc on defense. Powerhouse!!!! ·        
• Leapfrog or as we call him now “Froggy” not because of his lack of voice last night but for his crazy leaps on the field. Froggy was one of the key handlers last night making some great long bomb throws!
• Cruddick showing off his fancy dance moves out there as everyone on the sidelines yelled “force away!” We then got a sign from Cruddick assuring everyone (including the children on the sidelines) that he heard us. His middle finger!
• Double nuts (okay, maybe that isn’t Aaron’s nickname but it is today) was itching to be a cutter all game so for the last point he took the position with Bender, unfortunately it wasn’t his dream position mainly because I was one of the handlers and just couldn’t get the disc to the cutters that round. However, Double nuts did have a few long runs in him and a shit load of sweet catches as he was mastering the position of handler
• Chippy had some fantastic catches resulting in a point or two and a couple throws that just weren’t catchable but always followed with a very loud scream.
• Coach- I was a bit worried when the game started and Coach wasn’t there, but 10 mins into the game I could see three McAfee’s making their way to the field! We need Coach there, plus it might rain and he is only one wearing gloves to catch the disc
•  Glutes was one of the cutters on the field last night making some great cuts to the center where he ended up getting wide open.

The thing I remember most from this game has to be all of the crazy catches and the defensive moves from both teams that ended up being caught resulting in amazing plays The Armview Spiced Nuts player of the games goes to Aaron!! For his great work on the field and for taking the time each week to write the blog, which we all love to read! Thanks Double A!!

See you guys all next week!
-Captain

Happy Travels, Yeezy

Well, that wasn’t so bad.

The orange-triangle-spirit-rated-Kanye-West-joke-of-a-team turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of surprisingly-humourless, somewhat-athletic newbs led by two semi-pros and Ser Gregor Clegane in a Jesus costume. That they won is immaterial – we played fucking awesome. This is two weeks in a row that we faced, and exploited, a weak zone defense to our advantage - we swung the disk quickly, we provided good cuts to advance it upfield, and we made the sometimes-necessary-completely-bonkers-single-fingernail-circus-grabs to keep the plays alive (holy shit, Colleen). It was close. We almost had it. I kinda feel that if we had the balls to call a few of the more egregious travels and picks early in the game, we may have come out on top. Regardless, you’re all winners in MY book, which is the only one that really counts (eat it, Bible).

BUT, the game was not without its drama. See: Bunny and Coach suffering upper- and lower-body injuries, respectively, in quick succession in the second half; a few of their points mayhaps could have been contested due to some of the aforementioned (albeit innocent?) egregious fouls; at any given time during the game, half of our team seemed to be livid over something, while the other half seemed blissfully unaware – giggling and frolicking peacefully through the Spryfield greenery; and after three-quarters of a game of SHAMELESSLY exploiting the most poorly-worded rule in an inexplicably large book of rules for application to a self-refereed sport, Mrs. Cheery McTravelson and her laughably poor attempts to counter her own inertia were finally called out by Chippy. At which point, even her own teammates were nodding in agreement (which, LOL).

It was my favourite kind of game. :)

I gotta say, I’m loving the coaching from Coach, and the sideline input from our more experienced players - be it Sally advising me not to enact my obnoxious protest travel, Honey asking the good questions, or Bender telling us where we should be standing/cutting to. Beautiful! On-field highlights included a highlight-reels-worth of awesome defensive rejections courtesy of Greg; that crazy catch from Colleen/Wheeler; and some pretty sweet cup-breaking passes from our Captain. The LOLOLOL Nick McGrath Stubby Fruit Punch Player of the Game would have to go to Bunny, who was everywhere last night, and may have played the last half-hour concussed, possibly in violation of the HURL concussion protocol, which may or may not exist in that tome of a rules “handbook” – regardless, we admire your GRIT, Brian Burke would be proud.

Good job, y’all – see you next week!
-AA

PS: On a more serious note, let’s try to enjoy these fleeting moments of camaraderie and happiness while we can, before civilization as we know it collapses under a Trump presidency, and we’re all enlisted to battle in WWIII. *nods somberly*

PPS: Kool Moe Dee!

D-Jean Does Dartmouth (and Other Dirty Deeds)

Hey all,

It was a game that saw Greg catch a disk with his face (no, really – it was wonderful), Armsy score a hat-track, and the near-triumphant return of the D-Jean, who hasn’t lost a beat. It was a game that saw us employ a strategy, and stick to said strategy, and then tweak first said strategy when it stopped working. It was a game that we ULTIMATE-ly lost (heh), but it was close, and well-mannered, and very very very enjoyable. Sally and Gregor and Captain and Tim all took to handling against the cup like pros; Honey, Bunny and Scott (“Leapfrog” – which we’ll have to start using more) cut and crashed the cup and moved the disk beautifully. And Cruddick rode in on his surfboard and proceeded to flap his arms wildly :)

Then, eight of us went out for consolation beers and dead celebrity remembrances at the Ship Victory – which I’ve gone from enjoying semi-ironically, to now just earnestly loving. This must be what growing up feels like.

 Our opponents fielded a team of Captain Obvious dopplegangers, which (i) I smugly pointed out at every opportunity lest the beauty of that observation go unnoticed; and (ii) seemed to affect our defensive coverage (along with the general confusion on transition from zone D to man-to-man coverage). They also moved the disk really well on those transitions. But enough congratulatory back-patting, let’s point out that one time they did something dumb. I’m speaking, of course, about the decision of their most obvious Captain Obvious to boot down a still-airborne pull (lol), which we promptly MADE THEM EAT IN THE END-ZONE. I only bring it up because we lost, and that is something I would totally do, too.

The Chris Hyndman Memorial Ship Victory Player Of The Game goes to Greg for that beautiful beautiful face-catch, with honorable mentions to Armsy’s hat-track and Gregor’s ace disk placement all game (*kisses fingertips*). Hammers at mid-season form are my favourite Hammers, Hammers.

I miss you all, already.
XO
-AA

She's Like The Wind

Hey Hammers - Happy Canada Day! 

If you weren't there last night, know that we won; that it took probably 10 minutes to score the first point, and another 10 to score the second; that it was mostly the wind's fault, except for the pass Cruddick threw over the bleachers (lol, still); that everyone played great; that I'm still chuckling over Dan and Sharky kicking the disc back and forth to each other on the goal line; that the prodigal Glutes (who?) made his triumphant return to the Hammers; that Greg ran down and grabbed that long bomb (and kept running... :); that I like long lists; that I'm frantically typing this into my phone while my family packs for vacation; that we stacked well and cut well and, hell, that we're actually stacking and cutting; and, did I mention we won? We won!

If you were there - good job! Remember all that stuff? That was awesome.

The Lower Deck "Lower Decker Burger" (what? Ugh) Player Of The Game, by sideline consensus, was Coach Dan - with honourable mentions for everybody else. 

Kisses, Hammers - enjoy your long weekend and please kick some more asssss next week!

-AA