Fin, 2012

Well, that concludes another fun, beer, win and loss-filled season of recreational Frisbee for the lovable, sexy, scrappy Hammers (Bag of). Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and hope y'all come out again next year, and for any final team BBQs or patio dates. Aye, my Thursdays willn't be the same without an hour or so of aimless sprinting and yelling, and occasional completion of an actual Frisbee play.

Not yet knowing our tourney results, I can only really comment on Saturday morning's games against the Joey Fist Pumps (who beat us by a deceptively lopsided score, that is to say, we played much better than the score suggested), and the Sloppy Joes++ (against whom we were losing when I left, but not so much at the hands of any actual Sloppy Joes). While we all played well, and are all deserving of heaped praise in our own right, the true Powdered Lemon Gatorade and Nutella Player of the Game(s) was Maria, for sacrificing sleep and personal safety to enable us to field a team. Much thanks!

Pics from the day are here (courtesy of Joyce Ann... I think I got that right): http://www.flickr.com/photos/muiseam/tags/boh2012. Be sure to watch for the rare McAfee crotch foul.

EDIT - Maria sez: "Geez Aaron, no one told you?! We won it all! And if by all, we mean... the right to head to Tim's for coffee while we were unknowingly missing a third game in a row (prized to us by our morning streak), which led to another loss on the books, but a mutual agreement not to stick around and play a late day fourth game, and instead drink beer/margaritas on a sunny deck... Then we totally did."

I am sad to have missed this.

Kisses (bittersweet),
AA

We Are The Squash-ed Bug

As a grizzled, leathery classic rocker once spoke/sang: "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug". Well, Hammers, last night we were most certainly the bug - which, to continue this analogy, makes them a small, quick, under-manned windshield that by all rights should have lost by forfeit were it not for the good-natured, optimistic spirit of the bug (and the threat of the windshield to pull up and leave if we forced them to forfeit).

That analogy was a mess.

But enough about the other team, and their fleet-footed, man-handling of us (although I do want to mention that one dude's awesome Russian Circles t-shirt, and that other dude's questionable battle cry of "I'm coming again!") - let's talk positives: despite the score, we moved the disk very well last night. On one particular point, I think everyone on the field advanced the disk at least once. We also displayed terrific patience, using our dumps effectively, and we frequently made it to "stall 7" before chucking the disk. I would also like to highlight some terrific cuts and catches by Michelle and Jean, and give props to the fantastic turnout at the diner for post-game beer (i.e. all those folks who responded positively to my shameless begging… hope you all got yr laundry and packing done). Finally, I hereby award the Armview Feature Taco Burger Players of the Game to Linda and MC Becky D for coming out, thereby enabling us to field a team (earning us, at least, the moral victory in last night's demoralizing defeat).

Also, look out Mike - I think Michelle may have set Becky up on the sidelines last night. Or at least he thinks so.

Until next week,
AA

Haunted Frisbee

O, Hammers. Last night was not so pretty. If you were not there, know that we lost - handily - to a team that on a better night we could have easily beaten. I accept the bulk of the responsibility for the loss, having been unable to complete the majority of my passes, many of which were to a thankfully-restrained Maria (sorry, again). On at least two occasions, my wobbly wayward flicks ended aggressive marches up the field to a sure point, and on several others, they represented a depressing inability to progress beyond our own end-zone. It was as if I, or we, were bewitched.

Think about it: it was hot and humid, yet windy. Weird, no? My legs felt like stone, my coordination was way off, my head was swimming - and I can't be the only one. Bewitched, I says!

Now, I have a book on my bedside table that I have been slowly perusing for a few weeks called "Bluenose Magic", by noted local historian and author Helen Creighton (who also penned the awesome "Bluenose Ghosts"). The book is a collection of first-person re-tellings of family events and superstitions relating to witchcraft, magic and superstition in Nova Scotia. Bear with me, folks. It has page after page of stories from all over the province detailing how to prevent or recover from a bewitching. The trick, apparently, is to boil pins, either in water or in the urine of the affected, then to either place them into the wall (?) or the disembodied heart of the deceased infected victim (?!). After doing so, the witch responsible will be compelled to pay you a visit and attempt to borrow three items, in order to maintain her control/power over you. Still with me? When this happens, you must DENY HER, and the bewitching will cease. Or at least it should, as I understand it.

So, on my vacation next week, I will pee into a pot full of pins, boil (yuck) and stick the pee-boiled pins into my wall, because I do not feel like removing my heart from my chest, Temple Of Doom style, as cool as that would be. And when I see the offending Green Machine dude/gal staggering up my driveway in a pointy hat, I will be sure to deny them whatever they try to borrow. This will ensure a vastly improved performance next week against the Dal varsity giants, CFK - I am sure of it. I will advise of results.

On a related note, I will be undergoing allergy patch testing next week, and as such, will not be able to partake in the game, nor am I permitted to shower. But I will attend in a cheerleading function, or alternatively, to pollute the other team's airspace with my un-showered, chemically dosed body.

However, re: last night, recall that we did have quite an impressive run in the middle of the game, clawing back to within 1 point for a stretch - thanks in no small part to the handling of Dan and Gregor, and to Nick arriving to take some strain off of our pair of wheezing, winded subs. Our zone D looked pretty good for a stretch, too; the all-girl cup did admirably given the aforementioned dearth of subs, as did the dudes in the middle (Jean, Mike, etc). Armview Feature Burger (with ONION RINGS!?!) Players of the Game go to Becky, who played typically stellar, and to Mike, for not moving away. Commitment!

See you all next week, folks.
AA

Of Hammers and Bear Hugs

Ahoy Los Hammers. To save me precious blog prep time, and thereby enable much more of my breaks to be spent mindlessly surfing Viewpoint and the NHL trade rumour sites, I'll start off with some truth from Captain Becky:

"What a great game last night! They were struggling to beat our zone defence in the beginning, which enabled us to get a good lead.  Well done! We will have to remember for future games that you are allowed disc space and to call that during the game. Some of the dudes last night were all up in our guys faces. More like a bear hug actually."

Truth, indeed. It was a fun game, featuring some sound strategy (yay), lots of good catches (yay), ace defence (yay) and innumerable wayward tosses from yours truly (…boo). Nick played like a man possessed last night - perhaps showing off for the camera, perhaps buoyed by his post-game plans to take in The Dark Night Rises instead of coming out for a drink (boo) - single-handedly accounting for a good chunk of our points. See also: Dan blew off some steam with a few big runs from his usual handling post; Becky, Maria and Deidre had strong showings - the former with her typical sticky fingers, the latter with their runs to track down some of my aforementioned shitty throws; AND, Chantal and her husband (whose name I didn't catch), gave me a beer, thereby earning Armview Charbroiled Burger Player and Spectator of the Game, respectively, with due apologies to Maria's parents who came all the way from Newfoundland… but sadly, beer-less.

In the end, I feel we provided Maria's parents an accurate representation of adult recreational Ultimate, i.e. a good-natured, often clumsy, constitutional with people I enjoy spending time with, followed by a few drinks and awkward jokes about laser hair removal and superhero villain testicles.

But, what's this? News that our own Mighty Mike may be missing for a chunk of the season? This is sad news indeed. As Assistant Captain of the Bag Of Hammers Ultimate Frisbee and Social Drinking Club, I advise you to quit your job, at least until September-ish. Thanks, Mike - it's for the greater good (everybody, slowly: "the greater good").

Until next week!
-AA

PS: Action pics to follow sometime this weekend.

PPS: Or... now: http://www.flickr.com/photos/muiseam/tags/boh2012/

Becky's First Blog Entry!!

With the wind at our backs and lucky enough to have possession of the disc for the first huck of the game, we were feeling confident about the night. Our opponents came out friendly but showed their extreme athleticism by bolting down the field at extraordinary high speeds.  Fabio and the dude in RED shorts sure worked our guys on defense.   Despite Fabio’s attempt to shut us down we managed to score the first point of the game (thanks to Deidre’s quick hands!) putting us on a high.  We were ready to take on these Zulu Pildrivers.

Our Zone defense seemed to be working for us. The all female cup was something to be reckoned with!  On offence we made some great plays that lead to our second win of the season!  Hats off to our handler’s Gregor, Derek, and Jamie for some really great passes/long bombs. Also I can’t go without mentioning  Jim’s amazing catches (maybe we should all eat Subway before the game?), Maria’s wicked cuts, Mike and Jean’s quickness and Nick’s ability to look good out there thanks to Michelle’s plays. 

We were so lucky to have an official score keeper this game! Chantal’s husband, Raymond, came out to watch the game and kept score.  He became an instant fan.  I will do my best to recruit him for next year!  

Speaking of Chantal, what an amazing catch she did to help us score our 8^th point!

I am still searching through the Ultimate Frisbee rule book for the rule on Crotch Fouls. haha  One was called on Deidre. I personally wasn’t on the field at the time but from the side lines it looked like Deidre tea bagged Fabio.  Ok ok maybe that wasn’t how it all went down. Now that I think about it, it was a girl who called the Crotch Foul.  This still doesn’t make the story any better lol

I am hoping we got some extra spirit points for makings Fabio and best female player (BLUE shorts) chug a whole can of Cools Light Iced Tea beer while we stood around cheering them on/calling the cops to set up a road block. 

 Great game kids! Keep up this momentum for next week.

 Truly yours,

Captain

*MK only did the posting people - I cannot be blamed for anything contained in this entry.

"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns"

Perhaps not the most famous of the Godfather quotes.  I really did want to use "Leave the gun, take the cannoli" but just couldn't seen to make it work.  Moving on....we played the Disco Godfathers last night.  The evening and game had so much potential to be a great night of disc tossing - sunshine, cool breeze, subs for both genders, and a team that didn't look like arseholes.  Fastforward to 755pm.  We are already down 6-0 to these punks.  We aren't folding though.  We are confident.  They may be young but they aren't THAT good.    And then it all goes to hell.  The girls started as simply quiet and unassuming but then the little French one took over.  So after a couple of stupid calls and rude comments, our call up Jenn, brought in for her grit, toughness and sheer size, took matters into her own hands.  Two fouls later and those girls knew not to mess with us!  Well they still beat the pants off of us (final score was 12-4 I believe) but they were scared.  Like big time AFRAID. 

So I suggest our fierce defence and blocking can be what we take away from last night's game.  It was a good effort by all and it was a nice night for a run.  Thanks for coming out Jenn - we hope to see you again next week!!  And major big plays from Jamie, who clearly doesn't see gender and is perfectly fine with blocking girls and guys in the endzone - and speaking for all women, we appreciate your neutrality - earns him Propeller's Player of the Game.  Mostly because he made a girl cry and that made me laugh.  Joking.  She wasn't crying.  A lot. 

Finally, a return to Freeman's for postgame drinks was the icing on the cake.  That and the story our waitress told about Rocky IV, Demolition Man and Congo.  Not to be confused with our discussions about transgendered lead singers and porn.  Yep.  The Bag of Hammers are all class folks.

Enjoy the sun this weekend kids.  See you Thursday!

Victory = Ours!

Oh, fellow Hammers,

Last night's sweet, beautiful victory was so beautiful and so sweet…I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in. 'Tis true. Last night it all came together for us - the confidence, the Michelle, the Jamie, the skillz, the opponent, the weather, the field, the wind... [insert mental image of a stereotypical Italian chef loudly kissing the tips of his fingers, you know what I'm talking about]. We routinely broke their zone D. We handled with confidence and style - nay, pinache. We out-ran 'em. We out-jumped 'em. We out-scored 'em. Then we all laughed and high-fived and left the field happy. It was like we were living in an ad for Participaction - and in this Participactionland, I've assigned Mike and Becky the roles of Hal Johnson and Joanne MacLeod, respectively. Keep fit. Have fun. Force flick.

Honestly, I could feel the victory in us during the pre-game toss-around, where everything seemed a little crisper and more accurate - especially without all that be-damned wind that has plagued each of our first three games, messing up my hair and making our errant throws ever more upwards and errant, much like the plastic bag from the so-called Best Picture that inspired my somewhat pretentious opening statement above.

For specifics: well, huge thanks for the huge effort from Michelle, Becky and Chantal for their inspired play, sans-sub, unlike us lazy dudes, spoiled with the luxury of having a full line of subs. Jamie - great to meet you, and great to have your skill and experience on the back-end. And Mike and Jim - some great runs and catches and points. And everyone else, thanks for not staring and commenting on my sickly zombie eyes (it was noted and appreciated). Rockbottom Brewery Brown Ale Player of the Game: Michelle for her triumphant return and her contribution to our collective success. Cheers, yo.

Bravo, team!
-AA

Closing The Gap

Hey team,

Great, fun game last night - despite the loss. What a difference it makes, playing a team of comparable skill and sportsmanship.

Perhaps inspired by the much-anticipated re-emergence of founding Hammer Derek Land, whose HURL lineage traces all the way back to the pre-BoH team "XXX" (Vin Diesel and/or pornography and/or moonshine associations unclear), or perhaps feeling more like a team with our fancy new numbered duds, or perhaps responding to the enthusiastic cheering of one Oliver McAfee - we were able to score 10 points (some very impressive), nearly closing a three point gap before coming up just short at the end.

Confidence. Hands. Legs. Effort. It's all coming together. IT'S ALL HAPPENING!

Nods to Chantal, as Freeman's BBQ Chicken Pizza Player Of The Game, for her series of snags and successful dumps (heh heh - of the Frisbee), which are all the more impressive considering this is apparently her first foray of sports of any kind. Huzzah! Consolation nods to Derek for his precision bombs, which soared unaffected by both the wind and his 10-month break from the game; to Deidre for some quality handling, and to Mighty Mike for his scoring ability and effort - ripping his hat off in dramatic showy fashion whilst running down a long end-zone bomb (there was audible gasping… from me).

Conversely, thumbs down to Maria for providing medical attention to an injured opponent, thereby sqhashing any chance of leaving them short-handed. I'm kidding of course. Related: our spirit score has been upgraded from "green checkbox" to "yellow star", meaning… ?

Great game everybody - see you all next week!
Kisses,
-AA

Damn Gingers

Every year there is at least one game from which I feel the need to apologize soon after. Last night was that (hopefully) one game. This is that apology: sorry.

In the touchy-feely, self-policing universe of Ultimate Frisbee, all actions and interactions need to be carried out through a smile and a giggle, with a handshake and a high-five and a "good job, good effort" - even when a 16-player squad featuring half-a-dozen slumming touring players is relentlessly pummeling your team into the ground, without concession nor acknowledgement nor pity (and further, switching to zone defence, against the wind, while boasting a score of at least 12-0). No, even in these situations, etiquette suggests that you do not grumble loudly on the field, or whine to your fellow team-mates, or sulk off the field with slumping shoulders and a pout after every point against like a spoiled angsty teen who didn't get that new X-box game (or whatever angsty teens are into thee days) - as I did last night, with my kids watching no less! I promise I will not subject y'all to this behaviour again this year, and likewise, hopefully the HURL schedule-bot does not match us up against Moon Dolphin and their lanky ginger douche again, neither.

But enough about me and my hang-ups.

On the positive side, Jim broke our long-standing goose-egg by perfectly timing and out-jumping an end-zone full of players (yay!); I saw some great snags from Mike and Jean and Nick; collectively (I don't want to leave anyone out) we seemed to be moving and playing better as a team; and Greg - FUCKING GREG - I'm gonna give Cruddick a long awkward kiss on the mouth for sending Greg our way. Again, as we gain more confidence, and as the winds die down (enough already!) - the wins will come, and then we get the power, and then we get the women!

Thanks, all. And thanks for the good turnout at the Ship Victory for some tasty Consolation Nachos (vice Victory Fries), with extra thanks to Maria for not pummeling and eating our pokey, texting server (apparently Consolation Nachos are hand ground and baked from scratch, in Arizona, and delivered via pack mule).

Next week - we ride in our spanky new unis!
-AA

BoH 2012: First Impressions

Hey all, hope your legs and backs are demangled and still functioning properly this morning.

To start, I just want to briefly re-live what may be the Bag Of Hammers' play of the year: newb Jean Pelletier's diving, thundering, barrel-rolling circus catch at mid-field, to save a wind-blown mis-throw from the clutches of the bearded, bewildered opposing captain (who, BTW, was cited as the individual responsible for the early retirement of our ex-Captain). The guy never saw it coming, although he surely must have heard it. The catch left Jean in a heap, between the disk and the ground, with his shorts stripped down his thighs and his upper torso thoroughly grass-stained - and it left me guffawing in dis-belief (I'm still chuckling to myself). To use a term that gets thrown around far too often, but is certainly apt in this case, it was epic.

See also: Mike's own impressive suite of circus catches, Jim laying out for errant (sorry!) and deep end-zone passes at least 5 times, end-zone snags from Nick and Becky and Deidre (I think?), and a series of advancing passes that happened so quickly that I wasn't able to yell out to "slow down" (but hey, the shit worked). And, ladies and gentlemen of the 2012 Bag Of Hammers Recreational Ultimate Frisbee and Social Drinking club, it is plays like these that will likely define our success this year: big effort and athleticism, to be tempered with some refinement and direction from our wiley vets. The wins will come as we gain our confidence (and the winds die down, and we settle into our appropriate tier), and if the wins don't come, at least y'all got to run around in the open air for an hour or so.

 As for the "refinement and direction to be provided by our wiley vets", while I attempted my best Dan McAffee impression to start the game off - it will be shown to be no substitute for the real thing. It actually brought back some stomach-knotting memories from school, where my objective as a TA was to stay 1-2 classes ahead of those snotty engineering students and hope that they don't ask any questions. So thank yous for not asking any tough questions and exposing me for the Ultimate fraud that I are. Next week, I will come prepared with a Ray Lewis motivational speech.

Huzzah!
-Aaron

PS: big thanks again to Becky for picking up the slack and getting this team together!

PPS: big un-thanks to the crotchety, tattooed hipster server at Freeman's who nearly lost her shit on us after the debit machine took ill. Lynn, as Mayor of Freeman's, could you please take care of this. Ahthankyou.