WTF AA!

First game of the year - WOOOOOO.  First loss of the year - BOOOOOO.  No, no, that is not fair.  Because last night we had an excellent showing - both in numbers and in skill. 

For the newbies on this team, our first game of the year is never our best.  In fact, it is almost always our worst.  We are ironing out kinks, learning how to handle again, and quite frankly we are all trying to get back into peak physical condition (other than me because I am a fine human specimen always ready to compete in the Olympics).  In fact, Cruddick and I reminisced over watery beer that one year we lost our first game 0-15.  In about 35 minutes.  It was likely the fastest game of Ultimate ever played.  So last night was not that.  Not by a long-shot.  And for that, we celebrate.

What else to celebrate you ask?  Well, I very much celebrated the fact that the guy with the key who was supposed to open the gate at 6pm to let everyone onto this field finally showed up at 730pm meaning I did not have to risk injury to my yahuda once again by trying to climb over that damn chain link fence.  I think Jenn's leg and Sanjeev's arms (though I hear Becky is quite light) appreciated it as well.  I also think we should celebrate the new members of the team - Katrina who really increases our height average, Cynthia who will need a catchy nickname to rival her husband's (Bunny), and Greg who got into our car with grass in his hair because of the extra effort he put into his catches on the field.  All in all, we are one hell-of-an impressive group.

What not to celebrate you ask?  Douchenozzle with the white glasses.  As I pointed out to D-Jean on the sidelines - when you are a dude and you are wearing white sunglasses to play frisbee, I am likely going to hate you.  Then you pushed Tim when it was unnecessary to do so given you are a foot taller than he is and that was just mean spirited.  Also, AA where the hell were you?  First game of the year and our blogger and cheer-leader was MIA.  I heard you were "sick."  I also heard you were at work that day.  It doesn't add up I tell you.  Doesn't quite add up.  If you were a lady, I would 100% be convinced you were preggers.  Are you preggers?  You best be there next game.

Finally, the Freeman's Waitress with a Tattoo on her Boob that Dan and Greg analysed quite closely Player of the Game Award will be split between Captain Becky and Coach Dan.  Because they both played awesome, as evidenced by the other team commenting "shit, that guy in fast" and also because we would not be a team if not for Captain and we wouldn't be near as good if not for Coach.

PS.  We all have nicknames on this team so you newbies beware.  We are thinking of your handles and they will be assigned in the next couple of weeks. 

Peace out.

MK

2014: Fin

It was an exhausting night, team, and one that we might want to forget. With but one sub, 25-degree weather, some pre-game demoralizing traffic jams, and an opponent comprising nubile University students, horses, horse-faced students, and be-sleeved American douches – the cards were not dealt in our favour. And to lazily continue this already lazy analogy, we hit none of the Turn, Flop nor River, and thusly got our asses kicked, 15-4.

So let’s talk about those 4 points, shall we? And the positives. Errr, actually, I was so winded and punch-drunk by the end of my second shift that I can’t immediately recall who scored – so let’s keep this general! Their man-man D was really tight, making it very difficult to get open for even a swing pass between handlers and laggards (like me)  – so kudos to Punter and Xena for being able to do so consistently. Kudos also to Bunny and Tim for their stamina and willingness to handle, and to Glutes for running his glutes off and for making some great catches. And I don’t even need to mention Coach and Captain, who are the anchors around which this team wildly flails – AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!

The Lower Backville Chiropractic Player of the Game, as voted by our opponents and as backed by me, is Tim, who played fantastic. Cheers!

Finally, and most importantly, please vote at the following link, if you haven’t already, to help Michelle schedule our end-year BBQ. It would be good to see y’all once again.

http://doodle.com/xxe5g8e66h6yxxw7

Great season, team. Y’all are good people.

-AA

PS: stay tuned for some additional pics we were able to snap last night…

Peak Hammer?

Hey party people,

I was hoping to have a few beautifully-edited action shots from last night, to provide a more visual summary of our victory – but pizza, beer, sleep and now DAMN WORK has interfered. Stay tuned. Bunny snapped a few awesome shots, as did Partner and future-recruit Cynthia.

We’ve played many a decent game this year, team, but last night we may have realized our ~full potential. We stacked. We cut. We swung. We scored. It was a thing of beauty - peak Hammer; the result of a season of great coaching from Coach, I reckon, coupled with some residual aggro motivation from last week’s loss. The unfortunate thing is that we will only have one more game in which to apply all of this realized skill before succumbing to the annual fall/winter regression. Sigh.

Last night’s HON candidates, IMO:

• After a year of handling, Sally (who played great) scoring what may have been her first point of the season (confirm?);
• Punter making an INSANE catch to score off of an admittedly wonky pass from Sharky;
• Speaking of Sharky, he made a great defensive pass block at half field, the read and sprint to which started in the end zone(!); and
• Chippy/Doc/Sauce/Aimee/Tartar for a running, two-kneed sliding catch that would have made Marty McFly proud.

Obviously, there were many other highlights. *read wistfully* It was great having Tim and Green back on our side to run, block, pass and score like maniacs. Coach was EVERYWHERE. Bunny… showing off for his wife and kids. Partner… being awesome and sharing incredible insider hockey player gossip. And Captain is basically a Teale-esque handler now. We are all highlights, all the time. PRIME TIME!

Consensus Freeman’s Greek Veggie Pizza Player of the Game is Chippy/Doc/Sauce/Aimee/Tartar/Danaerys Targarian/Storm-born/Mother of Dragons/etc. etc. for a second half for the ages. After two end-zone drops, a primal scream and an epic disk spike, she ran down everything for the rest of the night. With a (literal) vengeance. All Odds didn’t know what hit ‘em.

Many kisses, team. I’ll update later with pics.

-AA

EDIT: PS: I am not suggesting above GIF looks like Aimee, only that she is displaying Aimee-esque levels of intensity. Lol.

Yabba-Dabba… D’oh!

Through the first two rounds of the 2013-14 NHL playoffs, the New York Rangers had a laughably terrible power play. By Game 4 against the Penguins, they would be just 3-for-42, for a conversion rate of 7.1%. It got to the point where the commentators would routinely make jokes suggesting that NY decline penalty calls. Seeing as I give zero shits about the New York Rangers (and even less so after they accidentally-on-purpose injured Carey Price… RAGE), the whole situation was kinda funny to me – but NO MORE! Folks, we are those New York Rangers – so inept with the man advantage. So, so inept. 

To back-up for a moment, for the many who weren’t there: our competitors last night – the black-clad, in-fighting, Draft team – were only able to field two female players, and were thus given the option of forfeiting or playing with six peoples. Or we were given the option of making them forfeit, or something. I don’t remember. The end result was that they played the entire game with only two females, and six total, on the field. In retrospect, mayhaps we should  have played six aside, as well. 

Now, this is not to say that we would have won (PS: we lost) had they been able to field seven or if we had played six, as they fielded a number of crazy-fast, muscular, antelope-legged, tattooed, possible ex-members of CrazyTown and BioHazard (the best descriptor Sharky and I could come up with was “hipster meth-head hockey players”). They were quick, and advanced the disk real efficient-like. And their captain, a six-foot-plus dead-ringer for Fred Flintstone (says Sally, and we all agreed), was a six-foot-plus dead-ringer for Fred Flintstone. He was good at being tall.

This is also not to say that we did not play well, or that we didn’t attempt to exploit their lax coverage (they didn’t even zone us, which would’ve made lotsa sense) – we did an excellent job of identifying the open player and feeding them the disk (yum). And temporary recruit James (aka “AB”, for Allie’s Boyfriend, because the last thing we need is another J-name!), was also quite effective at being tall and fast. And Jeeves’ hair was MAGNIFICENT – it was responsible for at least two of our seven points. 

All this speculative logic is hurting my head! Ultimate-ly (heh), we played well, but lost, basically because of one guy. And the field reeked like shit, or cat food, or Pictou (depending on who you asked). And it was fun, regardless, except for the smells, which were not fun. And Glutes scored with his face. And Chippy launched the disk into Glutes’ face from 6 feet away. And it was marvelous. 

The Ship Victory UGHHH I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING Curry Mayo Player of the Game is Punter, for her ability to evade her zero defenders and give us repeated easy passes up the field. That sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. Bonus points also to her and Captain for telling me in no uncertain terms to STFU at the pre-huck lineup when I tried to devise a defensive plan that was counter to their own. Which also sounds sarcastic, but it’s not, because frankly I don’t know what the hell I’m doing… :) 

Not sure where next week’s game is, but I hope to see you there. Note that we only have two games left before playoffs, which, sadly, it seems we’ll have to bow out of. *womp* 

Have a good weekend, all! 

-AA

Foul 'Balls

GODDAMN THAT WIN FELT GOOD… like, first-day-of-vacation or 10-hours-of-uninterrupted-sleep type good. And, judging from the number of times I flopped to the ground in relief/shock/ecstasy – on the sidelines, no less – I was FEELING it. Possibly a little too much, given that this was, y’know, bottom-tier, un-refereed, recreational Frisbee. But I am nothing if not acutely self-aware, albeit often retroactively, and my post-game auto-behavioral scanner likens my (i) skittering eyes, (ii) inability to complete a full sentence or thought, (iii) subsequent chest-pains and (iv) penchant for high-fiving the shit out of everything, to my 3-year old’s eiiiieeeeeeeeeee manner whist in the throes of an Oreo bender. When identified to be in this state, know that we are fucking PUMPED, but do not expect any meaningful decisions or conversation.

But what a game. It would be totally cliché to describe it as a “roller-coaster”, so I’ll just say it went up, then came down really quickly, before going up again. With lots of screaming and arms waving in the air. More specifically: we had the lead, then almost blew it (again!), before being saved in the end with some crack strategizing from Teale and Coach. Further, The Peltch, Bunny and Jeeves are establishing themselves as quite the defensive specialists, while Sharky, Tim and Chippy (Doc? Sauce? Tartar? Aimee?) seem to consistently find the end zones. Our handlers handled the handling (handily), we moved the disc really well (see: Partner - Xena - Captain - repeat), Nick miraculously overcame a mysterious workday illness to attend and contribute, and we scored opportunistically (except when we didn’t). Kudos to all y’all.

Collectively, we seem to have overcome our hatred of this purple team, who look to have ditched their overly aggressive, tall and douchy members for those much nicer (and incidentally, not nearly as good). Even shouty Fred Durst was pretty cool, when not shouting numbers into your face... which leads me to my favourite moments of the game (after the win, of course):

1. Tim's quick interception in the Dodgeball red-zone, and subsequent score, leading to some highly entertaining purple infighting - to quote: "Suck my dick, Joe!" (lol)
2. Teale's full field bomb to a sprinting Coach, who... just... barely... missed. It was the near-play of the season.
3. Sharky to Jeeves (confirm?) for the insurance marker at 7:52. My recollection of this one is a little hazy as I was busy screaming skyward in celebration, my vision obfuscated by tears of joy.
4. The spirit-y balls on Teale to call that foul on a play that happened two passes and another foul call prior, not to mention about 50-yards upfield. 
5. And a twenty-play tie for every catch Captain snagged last night. Dodgeball agreed: she was the Larry Uteck Public Drinking Player of the Game.

 Excellent. See y'all next week - in Dartmouth.
-AA

Glass: Half Full? Half Empty? I'd Like a New Glass, Please

Easy come, easy go, Hammers.

So we lost, it’s true. So we blew a big, early lead… also true. So we chose to turn a blind eye to some questionable (innocent?) defensive tactics, or at least grumble to ourselves about them on the sidelines (true), and it may have come back to bite us (maayyybe true). But I encourage y’all to look on the bright side here: namely, that a 5-1 first half lead is not insurmountable, which we should keep in mind next time we find ourselves in a bit of a hole.

Further, it was a cool, sunny evening. We got to run around lots. They provided post-game cookies, and were a relatively well-spirited team if you didn’t mind the overly-familiar old dude with the camera who totally invaded our personal team sideline space (WHICH HE TOTALLY DID ALL NIGHT). And a few of us had a post-game beer or two (or 1.25, eh Jean!).

And I don’t know about you, but I was just happy to put my depressed state of a post-vacation life on hold for a few hours.

Further still, we had a HUGE showing last night. If team Volume had any measurable impact on outcome, we would’ve slayed them (although they may have had the advantage in total team height, or length if they were laying down). Plus, we fielded like, nine dudes and managed to score some solid emergency female subs in Erin and Jen. But alas, the ability of a team to displace the most amount of water does not a victory make (Jesus Christ, that was terrible), and we came up two points short. The turning point was clearly their extended time out, which allowed them to devise a strategy to counter our frantic, cup-busting offence. One day later, and I still don’t know what their strategy was, but it clearly worked…

Our handlers, Coach, Sally and Teale, had a solid (if frustrating) night, as did everyone else: Sharky, Bunny, Punter, Green and Tim all had sticky fingers; Jeeves, Captain and The Peltch were solid on defense (I never tire of seeing Jeeves get his foot-blocks all up in opponents’ faces). AND, we managed to injure a few opponents: Punter clearly tipped the disc into some poor girl’s face, Green almost took another girl’s wrist off, and a quick Teale-to-Sharky score caused their barefoot’d superstar to destroy his hand on the turf (which he then taped up and played through… natch). And thus, I award the Lion’s Head Tavern Cute Little Kiddie Beer MVP award (pictured sideways below)  to The Pelch for the most authoritative pass block of the year. It was really something. It caused me to scream.

See you all next week, party peoples. Until then, rock on, don’t fear the reaper, something something… \m/
-AA

Ultimate players don’t share

That sun was bright! Thank god we won the toss and we picked the side of the field with the sun at our backs. That was Coaches bright idea ;)  Although that really didn’t help us much, because Draft Punk ended up scoring the first two points.  I blame Partner for showing up a few minutes late and we had to play short a female. But she made up for that by catching a few long bombs into the end zone breaking two nails in the process and nearly stepping on Sharky’s head as they both collided into each other in the end zone (very interesting mishap if I do say so myself).

We fought those two points back quickly with some AMAZING catches by Jeeves! That guy was flying all over the place. Those grass stains will be tough to get out for next week.  D-Land made an appearance again this game and whipped out a few hammers that helped us take the lead.

As half time was approaching I noticed two soccer teams at the end of the field waiting to start their game.  As we were taking a much needed break (especially the three females!) we were approached by a lady in bright pink pants who was insisting they had the felid and wanted us to get off or move over a bit so they could play too.  Draft Punk made their way over to help us with Ms. Pink Pants.  The conversation got heated as we asked for their field permit and they were not able to provide one.

Pink Pants wanted to compromise and share the field. Can you fucking imagine?? Four ultimate teams and two soccer teams all playing on one field? She was clearly nuts! A long time Ultimate player from Draft Punk (Roger) walked over and said “Can I see your permit?” Pink Pants said “I don’t have one” Roger- “well then you can’t play here” and started to walk away.  Pink Pants “You are an asshole! And we will just play anyway; call the cops if you want” Michelle-“okay, go ahead we will just call the cops”.   In the end Ms. Pink Pants waited us out and everything was fine.  She wasn’t happy but that wasn’t our problem.  HRM made the mistake of double booking the field.  Good job she didn’t ask for our permit ;)  Maybe I print that sucker out and have it with me lol.

After that confutation we were all fired up and ready to win this game.  We were up by one at half and within minutes into the second half we were up by two.  Amazing catches and defensive moves by Green, Coach, Sally, Bunny and Tim to help us with the win! Seriously, we had some crazy/almost impossible catches that were made last night.   I won’t talk about the not so crazy and very possible catches that should have been made last night by me ;)

I award the tight pink pants (did I mention these pants were tight!!! Puke city!) no permit player of the game to SanJeev and Dan for their crazy/nearly impossible catches and defensive moves in the end zone. 

See you cats next week!! I might come out sporting some hot pink pants next week ;)

Captain

 

*FYI - I think Becky is being to nice about pink pants.  She was very loud and obnoxious and should not have been wearing tight pants, regardless of colour.  She also called us assholes which sealed the deal on the sharing aspect.  It also made me want to fight her.  Which would then have sealed the deal as this being the most ridiculous thing to ever happen on a frisbee field.  Also, I was very sore this morning.  I should not run that much.  That is all.